Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Paris gets flashed

Many years ago, I wrote a post defending Paris Hilton against people who claimed she was a spoiled, vacuous bimbo. Some time later, I discovered that the allegation was actually well founded, which made me feel like a lawyer who had defended a guilty client. Thereafter, I naturally shied away from discussing Miss Hilton, but I did not delete the original post, which is still buried somewhere in the archives. Gorilla Bananas is not like one of those cowardly media pundits who erases embarrassing tweets to avoid the scorn of the mob.

So why am I mentioning her now after such a long hiatus? Well, it’s because of a recent news item about her. Apparently she is now a DJ, which seems like a fitting occupation that will give her something useful to do without taxing her brain excessively. Yet her new line of work is not without its perplexing incidents. It seems that many girls on the dance floor are showing Paris their breasts for reasons that are currently unfathomable:

“I'm a girl so it's weird when girls are flashing their boobs at me,” she explained. “But I love that people are into it and they feel so free that they can express themselves however they want.”

Now why would so many girls be baring their breasts at Paris Hilton? The most straightforward reason would be to indicate they were sexually available, but how could Paris respond to their invitation while she was busy playing records? I can’t believe that girls who go to discos don’t have better methods of seduction.

Another possible motive, much less flattering to Paris, is that the girls want to show their breasts are fuller, rounder and perkier than her own ones. If you’re envious of a woman’s fame and fortune, why not even up the score by making her jealous of your jahoobies? If that was their intention, there’s little evidence they succeeded. A dopey creature like Paris would be blissfully unaware of such devious attempts to demean her.

A third possibility, which I’m leaning towards with increasing favour, is that the girls were hoping to be recruited for a porn video. Although Paris is not a commercial producer of adult entertainment, I vaguely remember a story about her appearing in a porn video herself. Did that really happen? It was a long time ago, so I may have been dreaming. But no, I don’t think I was.

I now recall an article about that video written by Germaine Greer, who noted with approval that Paris had a bored expression on her face when some fellow was eating her cha-cha. This, Ms Greer assured us, was a powerful statement of feminist indifference. It proved that a man couldn’t orally pleasure a woman into a mass of moaning, quivering flesh.

I’m not entirely persuaded by Ms Greer’s argument, but I’m not going to search for the video after all these years just to refute her. I’ve got better things to do than study the expression on Paris Hilton’s face.

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1. I don't like being anywhere that a DJ is "performing," but I think I would make an exception if there was boob-flashing to be seen.

2. I haven't watched her "performance" in her "film" in a long time, but she did not appear to be having much fun. She was one of those self-obsorbed porn actors who was more concerned with how she looked than with actually enjoying herself. You can tell when they're looking at themselves on the little television of the camera, and that is a huge turn off for Dr. Ken.

3. She has the same bored expression while DJ'ing. I think she just kind of sucks at most everything. Anyone who did SNL with her will tell you she was the worst guest ever. But anyone from the 1970's cast will argue that Frank Zappa was the worst. But at least Frank was a genius at other things.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016
You've had this blog since Paris Hilton was in the news?

My grandmother told me about her.

I think they were the same age.
plastic-stuffed bimbo bitch from a totally fucked-up family.

the only person (other than my spouse) to whom I would show my natural jahoobies would be YOU!
1- don't get me started on Paris Hilton

2- Once when talking to her, I heard an echo.

3- The long hiatus, wasn't long enough.

4- Have you seen her acting chops in House of Wax? I couldn't tell the real Paris from the wax figure!

5- Anyone who thinks they have to keep moving from country to country because they are at risk for a terrorist attack isn't playing with a full deck!

6- Paris had already sang...tanked. I also have a friend who is a DJ, Paris will never be able to keep up with one knob and wire let alone 80!!!

7- She has said she made all her own money. You is she kidding...she herself claims she doesn't think....she walks!!!!

8- She got confused when someone told her to meet them at the corner of walk and don't walk!

I told you not to mention Paris Hilton around me,lol!
As longs as she doesn't speak, she's good to go.
She looks more drugged-out than bored in that photo, GB. I'd be offended if she had that face when I was flashing my jahoobies or feasting on her cha-cha.
Dr Ken: I really had no idea she was a porn actress, Dr Ken. I thought she'd just filmed herself having sex for a lark. If your critique of her acting technique is correct, she was wise not to pursue that career.

Nasreen: Yes, I've been blogging since the dawn of time, or the dawn of the internet, which is much the same thing.

Anne Marie: I'm very flattered that your boobs would give me an audience, Anne Marie. I would kneel before them in awe and offer them my devoted loyalty. :)

Mistress Maddie: You are a fount of anecdotes, Mistress! Thank you for all the extra information about her. Compared with me, you and Dr Ken are encyclopaedic on the topic!

Al: Good to go where? Maybe America should give her to China in exchange for a giant panda. The Chinese would treat her like an exotic pet.

Robyn: You'd be right to be offended, Robyn. She ought to have a look of rapture on her face if you did either of those things. :)
Boob flashing is not a big no-no. Usually. I wouldn't do it in front of the Pope, though.
So now she's a DJ. Well isn't that nice for her. What a joke.
god bless the rich and famous for keeping us insignificant peons entertained.
She'll be in tittytittybangbang next. Can't wait....
But can she dance?
Ms Pop Tart: The Pope would be unworthy of your puppies, Ms Pop Tart. But I'm glad you are not averse to letting them out for the right audience.

Mary: And not a particular funny joke, Mary. Maybe she needs to wear a pirate costume.

Mr Rosewater: Peon! That word is not seen enough. I'm going to use it in my next post!

Jules: She'll have to pass the audition first, Jules.

Jimmy: I've never had the pleasure of seeing her dance, Jimmy. Do you think she could manage the foxtrot?
How come I can't get women to spontaneously expose their breasts to me? Please help me with this GB.
Well, Jono, I'm no expert on this. Maybe you've got to give women the impression that breasts are the last thing on your mind. Try to project a personality like Batman as played by Adam West in the TV show. I got the feeling that Catwoman was itching to show him her breasts. Pity it wasn't allowed in a children TV series.
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