Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Paris gets flashed
Many years ago, I wrote a post defending Paris Hilton against people who claimed she was a spoiled, vacuous bimbo. Some time later, I discovered that the allegation was actually well founded, which made me feel like a lawyer who had defended a guilty client. Thereafter, I naturally shied away from discussing Miss Hilton, but I did not delete the original post, which is still buried somewhere in the archives. Gorilla Bananas is not like one of those cowardly media pundits who erases embarrassing tweets to avoid the scorn of the mob.
So why am I mentioning her now after such a long hiatus? Well, it’s because of a recent news item about her. Apparently she is now a DJ, which seems like a fitting occupation that will give her something useful to do without taxing her brain excessively. Yet her new line of work is not without its perplexing incidents. It seems that many girls on the dance floor are showing Paris their breasts for reasons that are currently unfathomable:
“I'm a girl so it's weird when girls are flashing their boobs at me,” she explained. “But I love that people are into it and they feel so free that they can express themselves however they want.”
Now why would so many girls be baring their breasts at Paris Hilton? The most straightforward reason would be to indicate they were sexually available, but how could Paris respond to their invitation while she was busy playing records? I can’t believe that girls who go to discos don’t have better methods of seduction.
Another possible motive, much less flattering to Paris, is that the girls want to show their breasts are fuller, rounder and perkier than her own ones. If you’re envious of a woman’s fame and fortune, why not even up the score by making her jealous of your jahoobies? If that was their intention, there’s little evidence they succeeded. A dopey creature like Paris would be blissfully unaware of such devious attempts to demean her.
A third possibility, which I’m leaning towards with increasing favour, is that the girls were hoping to be recruited for a porn video. Although Paris is not a commercial producer of adult entertainment, I vaguely remember a story about her appearing in a porn video herself. Did that really happen? It was a long time ago, so I may have been dreaming. But no, I don’t think I was.
I now recall an article about that video written by Germaine Greer, who noted with approval that Paris had a bored expression on her face when some fellow was eating her cha-cha. This, Ms Greer assured us, was a powerful statement of feminist indifference. It proved that a man couldn’t orally pleasure a woman into a mass of moaning, quivering flesh.
I’m not entirely persuaded by Ms Greer’s argument, but I’m not going to search for the video after all these years just to refute her. I’ve got better things to do than study the expression on Paris Hilton’s face.
Labels: jahoobies, Paris Hilton, porn video, tit-flashing
