Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Dogging episode

An incident of fornication in a public place has been reported in Somerset, a county in southern England. The unfortunate eyewitness was a 19-year-old mother of two, who gave the following description of the event:

“They were there for ten or 15 minutes,” said Ms Lara Shoemaker. “At first they just stopped underneath the bridge as it was really badly raining. Then they started kissing and then after a while he put his hands up her skirt and she put her hands down his trousers. You could see she was messing around. After that he lifted her leg up and then they started having sex. It’s very disrespectful. I have got two kids and if they were tall enough to see out of the window I’d have been really angry.”

Ms Shoemaker took pictures of the incident and posted them online, but I don’t think they’ll be helpful in identifying the culprits. The faces are not visible and the bodies are fully clothed, so they could have been anyone. I don’t blame her for being worried about what her children might have seen. As well as asking embarrassing questions, they might have copied the behaviour on display. The human infant will imitate anything that looks like a party game.

Should it be illegal for humans to have sex in public places? Criminalising such behaviour is an easy solution, but what if it just pushes couples into toilet cubicles? There is literally nowhere to run if you’re having a dump and you hear a lot of huffing and puffing next door. This is why many learned scholars oppose legal restrictions on outdoor humping. Curing such social ills, they say, requires soft touch policing combined with better public amenities. Allocate land for dedicated dogging zones where people can copulate in tents. Have a loudspeaker play ‘She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain’ to drown out lewd noises and encourage a speedy consummation. Provide free Batman and Batgirl masks, so people don’t have to worry about being photographed as they enter and leave the camp.

Speaking as one who’s watched countless baboons mate in the open air, I have a lot of sympathy for the social reform approach. If anyone tried to arrest baboons having sex, pandemonium would break out. The baboons would treat it as an act of unprovoked aggression and make war on the enforcer. Their ears would be deaf to legal or moral arguments. “If you don’t like the sight of it, look in another direction,” they would say.

I’m not saying humans are like baboons, of course. They have places to go to when they want to have sex. If they do it in public, it’s probably because they like being watched. Exhibitionists are brazen rogues who seek to shock and embarrass. The best way of making them change their ways is to laugh at them when they’re doing it, to give them a sense of shame. You’ll never have law and order if no one is ashamed of anything.

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This is kind of like going to the Point (the jetty of the Yacht Club) to make out or to screw.
The lady took a picture of it? She was probably going to use it for later, private moments. Right before I left for my trip one night, I was sitting home. The couple downstairs came home rather pickled. I later heard a guy moaning, like in pain. But then I heard the ooooooooh god, ohhhhhhh fuck. I then knew they must have forgotten where they were. I do believe that's the first time I heard sex in the halls here. I glad it was someone else for a change. Happy Valentine to you, you big lug♥♥♥
first off - a 19 year old mother of 2? she should be spayed!

second, GET A ROOM! I don't wanna watch people taking a shit in public, nor do I wanna watch them fuck.

third, porn in the privacy of one's own home is perfect for watching 2 people mate.

that is all.
Yeah, a nineteen-year-old with two kids really has no business calling out people on their sexual proclivities. If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones (Also, consider dressing in the basement).
it's not our fault. someone hard wired us to reproduce and acquire more stuff than we'll ever need.
Here in the states it has always been illegal to hump your honey in public. Sometimes it is even illegal to do it with the windows open.
Pop Tart: I never knew yacht clubs gave their members such privileges, Ms Pop Tart.

Mistress Maddie: A man moaning in pain could be the perfect motif for Valentine's Day, Mistress. And thank you for the hearts, which I return to you in spades!

Anne Marie: Porn films are better than nothing, but don't you think the acting is often very wooden?

Jai: I think she feels entitled to complain because she made her babies in private. She said something about always waiting for the front door to close before letting anyone hump her.

Billy: Yeah those wires really need re-wiring.

Jimmy: You've got to close the windows before having sex? What are you supposed to do if someone farts?

'Fornication' makes it sound like a sin. Isn't that how they refer to it in the bible? I know it's wrong to judge others but having two children at 19 is unfortunate.

I was in a club once and a girl wanted to have sex in the bathroom but I couldn't do it. I just wasn't horny or drunk enough to perform on a toilet. So sue me. I need romance.
Hm, sounds like she really got off watching them, GB. And she had two kids in the car. Talk about disrespectful. I don't have a problem with public humping. But I sure don't like it when people stop and take pictures of me doing it. Especially when I'm alone. You know, GB?
If people are having sex in public either they are too drunk to care or like to be watched.
I'm just jealous that someone is getting some. It's more fun without clothing, though.
These people who get their feathers ruffled are worse than the original culprits. I mean, if she saw they were getting it on, why did she stay long enough to describe everything in great detail AND take a picture? Clearly, she enjoyed watching and being indignant. Some people get off on that.
If she wanted to stop it she should have bought a high powered water gun or paint gun and be an anti sex vigilante. That's more fun that snapping pics on a mobile. Muppet.
I once saw sex in public. It was outrageous! I waited until they were done just to be sure of what I was seeing, though. Then, my hand and I had a cigarette.
Exile: The Church now accepts that it's possible to fornicate in a responsible and devout way. Old teachings are constantly being updated. You should have tried it in the shower.

Robyn: Haha, Robyn, I bet you look great alone! I'd be happy just to look at your face!

Mary: Can the ones who do it in haystacks can be forgiven, Mary?

Jono: Yes, humans weren't designed to mate with their clothes on.

Shoshanah: I suspect a 19-year-old mother enjoys playing the part of a respectable matron. It must require good acting skills. :)

Jules: Wouldn't that lead to coitus interruptus, Jules? I think we'd have to ask the Pope for a ruling before employing those tactics. :)

Al: You should have tried clearing your throat loudly. They might have asked you to play a bit part.

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