Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Love droids

A Californian company called RealDoll has announced it will be selling an artificially intelligent sex doll next year. If they’d put it on the market a month ago, I would have bought for the manager of the safari camp as a Christmas gift. His wife isn’t the jealous type and might have appreciated sharing her conjugal duties with a robot. If nothing else, it would have given her time to catch up on her bedtime reading.

RealDoll haven’t said what their AI-enhanced sex doll will be capable of doing. It’s not difficult to imagine what functions the typical customer would want, but I suspect these early models will be fairly limited. Maybe the dolls will just moan and wiggle their tongues. Mind you, that’s probably more than many human partners provide. Hef’s playmates have surely mastered the art of playing possum, with the aid of a sedative if necessary.

A bunch of academics recently held a conference in London to discuss the way ahead for human-robot couplings. One of the speakers was Dr David Levy, the author of a seminal work called Love and Sex with Robots, published in 2007. Maybe I should have read it before writing this post. On the other hand, it might have given me the yips. A highbrow British periodical described the book as follows:

David Levy's thesis, in this utterly fascinating, scholarly and rather uncomfortable book, is essentially that we'll fuck anything (which we knew), and that we love pretty much anything that looks as though it might love us; or, at least, is blank and malleable enough for us to project that idea upon.

Yet almost 10 years after publication, Dr Levy’s idyllic vision of tireless and technically proficient sex machines is a long way from fruition. At the end of the conference, a member of the audience summed up the current state of play:

“We can't agree what a robot is, we can't agree what sex is. We are almost sure that no sex robots currently exist. What we are developing is very crude and almost no-one wants it.”

This is the problem with most advances in technology – the big breakthroughs happen in unexpected places rather than where everyone wants them to. There’ll be intelligent kitchen appliances long before sex robots are a common bedroom accessory. Refrigerators will make sarcastic remarks when men fill them up with six packs. Washing machines will scold women who sit on them during the spin cycle. Once machines have intelligence, there’ll be no end of cheek from them.

I personally doubt that androids will ever possess the sexual characteristics of a biological entity. Living flesh has a certain texture that cannot be replicated by inorganic substances. The human butt cheeks, when spanked, emit a noise that is instantly recognisable and probably unique in the solar system. Instead of trying to make artificial humans, the sex toy industry should think about creating a device like the Orgasmatron. It was all action and no talk, which is want people want from machines.

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oh hell, self love is the best love of all! (she says from experience) no robots for this chick!
As much as I love sex, I need a real man...of my hand. A robot would creep me out. And happen happens if your giving the doll oral and it clamps down and one can't get their cock out?!?!?!?!
I'll stick with the old-fashioned way.
As long as the female android sex toy is devoid of speech, then it will probably be a winner.
shit, i was born 40 years too soon.
I hope they test these robots on gorillas first
Anne Marie: It certainly qualifies as safe sex! Do you rate your own performance, Anne Marie?

Mistress Maddie: There's no need to give the doll oral, Mistress! They're givers, not takers!

Pop Tart: Just how old-fashioned do you like it, Ms Pop Tart? I suspect the first humans did it like baboons.

TSB: I don't know about that. Don't you like a bit of moaning and panting?

Mr Rosewater: I think the doll will sell better in your age group. Young guys might need a loan.

Jimmy: We could test them for strength, Jimmy, but no gorilla would want to have sex with one.
Almost no one wants it? They'd rather have, and continue to have, their sheep. Humans are interesting and disgusting, wouldn't you say, GB?
Sex robots...well, that's an interesting concept although I bet they cost a few thousand.
Unless they make a robot that all my senses can enjoy I'll have to depend on undependable humans.
@GB - HELL YEAH! 2 or 3 orgasms is FABU!
That sounds so creepy!
To me, one aspect of the human-robot interplay that is disturbing is the cleanup of the robot after visiting her. It would reduce the libido, IMO. I suppose they could perhaps have her have an easy to remove module that could be thrown in the washing machine or dishwasher, but that also seems less than appetizing.

The most stressfully true thing though is about the grumbling fridge that gripes at fellows chilling their six packs of beer. That is too true to life and it needs to be vetoed! It is demoralizing enough when my wife does that to me let alone a fridge.

Robyn: Any human who wants sheep is certainly a pervert, Robyn. The four-legged were not made to be mounted by the two-legged. :)

Mary: I've heard even the immobile ones can be expensive, Mary. It's amazing what people will pay for.

Jono: Is the missing sense taste? I can't believe a sex doll tastes as good as a flesh-and-blood woman.

Anne Marie: Two or three seems to be the magic number for most women. Do you know any who aim for higher numbers?

Shoshanah: Have you seen the film Ex Machina? That would really creep you out!

Pipe Tobacco: Yes, the robots should come with a specially designed douche - one that sucks as well as squirts. I sincerely hope that you are never plagued by a grumbling fridge. I can see why you are not so concerned about a grumbling washing machine - could you relay the opinion of your good lady wife on this matter? gotta wonder why these people would prefer a robot over a real human being. I for one prefer the touch of human over a robot any day! There's nothing like the real thing but hey, to each his/her own.

Happy New Year GB!!
Why would a woman want to sit on a washing ma....ohhhhhhhhh.
After just watching Westworld, I have to say I think that is a very very very bad idea.....
Cocaine Princess: Maybe they like not having to worry about farting in front of a robot, Miss Princess. Happy New Year back to you!

Al: As if you didn't know. It's been common knowledge since the 1980s.

Mich: I vaguely remember that movie. Were the robots cowboys?

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