Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Frontal expression

So the mayor of New York is getting cheesed off about women walking around topless in Times Square. Good thing he isn’t the mayor of Brazzaville (or “Bra-less-ville”, as the manager of the safari camp affectionately calls it). It seems that he can’t simply order the police to arrest these ladies because they have daubed their breasts with brightly coloured dyes. This, apparently, is protected free speech under the American constitution.

Now the mayor is concerned that these street artists are exercising their right to free expression in a manner that will bewilder and upset tourists, possibly causing them to visit New Jersey instead. As he cannot remove them, he is seeking to close the pedestrian plazas in which they congregate. Critics of his plan have likened this to preventing pollution by sucking the Earth’s atmosphere into space.

“That's not a solution, it's a surrender,” said the president of a local business organisation.

The women, as one would expect, are protesting against what they see as an insidious attempt to deny them their rights.

You may be anticipating that an uninhibited ape like me would support the street performers in this dispute. “Not so fast” would be my reply. Just because we gorillas live free and easy lives, it doesn’t mean will we tolerate any form of bodily display. As a former circus ape, I know that it’s possible to present the female bosom in a highly provocative, not to say insolent, manner. I don’t want to regale you with anecdotes of a personal nature, but I can give you a flavour of what I mean by describing an incident from a film called The Graduate. It’s the scene where Ben takes Elaine to a burlesque bar, where they witness a performer twirling her titty-tassels in an exceptionally vulgar manner. My heart bled for Elaine as she rushed from the establishment in tears after being confronted with this brazen exhibition.

Now if the ladies in Times Square were performing such outrageous stunts, the mayor would have my full support in seeking to curtail their activities. However a video interview of Ms Rachel Jessee, a spokesperson of “GoTopless Day” parade, suggests that this is far from the case. She cogently argues in favour of normalising bare-chestedness in the human female, so that people no longer view it as something aberrant or unsettling. I should add that Ms Jessee’s own breasts were tastefully and teasingly exposed during the interview. I refuse to believe that she would lend her support to anything bawdy or offensive.

So after due consideration of the evidence, I declare the mayor of New York to be a reactionary ass whose ignoble scheme must be resisted with unrelenting doggedness. I urge the citizens of the great metropolis to rally in support of their beautiful and talented and street artists. I will not visit their city as a tourist until the liberated bosoms of Times Square are officially recognised as a symbol of its highest ideals, no less important than the Statue of Liberty.

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nope, sorry. get all dat shit outta times square; they shake down the tourists for cash. not to mention crass and tacky.
"possibly causing them to visit New Jersey instead" Boy , one would have to be desperate to go to the arm pit of America!!!! Meanwhile, pay no attention to Anne Marie. Hell, She'd paint her ta tas like daisies and run wild in the wind! I one day would like to be painted head to toe, and go to a party sometime, that'd be fun, and cut down on doing laundry.
They celebrate Go Topless Day in Asheville, NC. It is a tourist draw.
sorry to disappoint, mistress dear, but I am not an exhibitionist. and, trust me, NO ONE wants to see my tits, painted or unpainted!
i hope they're using skin friendly paint. it can't be too good for the skin to get covered in paint on a regular basis.

the upcoming autumn and winter weather should take care of things for mr mayor.
I have to traverse Times Square on a semi-regular basis and let me tell you something, sir, not all of those women should be parading around naked (just like most men shouldn't do it, either). The finer examples make it into the paper but most are not noteworthy, unless you like droopy boobs.

Can you believe how this country acts towards a pair of naked titties? My Gawd. What a bunch of sad little puritans.
Yeah, Exile's right about the droopy boobs factor. Were I to parade topless in Times Square, my boobs would mop the greater area - it'd be cleaner than it's ever been. But I don't think I'd enjoy that. Not sure I'd make much money either, GB.
Anne Marie: Now I don't believe that no one want to see them, Anne Marie. Have you asked your cats? Have you asked me?

Mistress M: I'd be fascinated to see what colours you daub on your various bits and pieces. I'm sure your colour-coding would become a universal standard.

Ms Pop Tart: North Carolina? I never would have guessed! Are the tourists allowed to make whooping noises?

Billy: Yes, remember what happened to the girl in Goldfinger. They'll surely be gone when it gets cold, but so will most of the tourists.

Exile: I know you like 'em small and perky, but there's a big market for boobs out there. It's like people having different tastes in art.

Robyn: Maybe someone should invent a strap-on shelf women can fasten to their ribcage. I suspect you'd make more money than you think, Robyn. :)
You got my support here, Gorilla. I'm sorry governments in my country can be dumb enough to try to stop beautiful topless women from parading around. Jesus. I would never vote for that guy even if Trump was running against him. Okay, no, anybody but Trump. I would vote for the other guy and then really try to get him to see the error in his ways with the whole naked lady thing.
It's interesting that nudity in Europe is more publicly accepted, and violence is not; it's kind of the reverse in the U.S.

...Causing them to visit New Jersey instead. Maybe when a blue moon turns green, but you knew that already. Breast can be beautiful. I mean the pair you're showing in that final picture are exquisite. Unfortunately, the majority of breasts are not, which is why I'd be in favor of more paint. Just a bit more. Yes?
i never saw the point of wanting to go equally topless as men, GB. one can do if she wants to but i don't get why they should campaign for it. campaign for cervical cancer awareness, probably that'd save lives.
Is the mayor of New York still Michael Bloomberg? Maybe he is afraid people will start calling him Mayor Boobberg if he doesn't stop this practice.
The one at the end has awesome titties!
@jimmy fungus - the current mayor of NYC is bill di blasio.

@gorilla - the cats don't care about my saggy tits. and no, I have not asked you; you got $1M? I ain't cheap! ;-)
There's a time and place for this sort of thing. And I really don't think this is it. Want to go topless, naked? Go to a nude beach.
Dr Ken: I'm glad you wouldn't vote for Trump, Dy Ken. He'd probably tell all the women to wear tampons!

Cocaine Princess: I think the Germans are most relaxed about nudity, Miss Princess. They seem to associate it with healthy living. It's not that popular in Italy and Spain.

Blue Grumpster: The lower picture is of Ms Jessee, who is mentioned in the post, so the exquisite breasts are apropos. Readers must judge whether she is supporting the cause for selfish reasons.

JJ: Some women don't like being forced to do anything men don't have to, Jaya. I dare say they urinate in a standing position.

Jimmy: I refer you to Anne Marie's comment for the answer to your question, Jimmy. Is making amusing puns of people's names acceptable humour in America? It's certainly very popular in other parts of the world.

Rammer: I'm sure she'd appreciate your compliment, Mr Hammer.

Anne Marie: I'd like to interview your cats rather than letting you speak on their behalf. One million bucks is a little pricey - how about a bunch of bananas?

Mary: Am I wrong in thinking you are fulsome in the chestal area, Mary? I seem to remember you mentioning it!
Seriously, I don't think ANYthing would make me want to visit New Jersey.
Now, if the Statue of Liberty were topless...oh, what the heck am I saying??? That broad is over 100 years old.
Anne Marie: Have you asked me?
Whoa, wait, a million? O_o

Incidentally, I ain't cheap, either. But, I CAN be had. ;-)
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