Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Getting her back

Robin Thicke, the singer who twerked with Miley Cyrus, has made a pop video beseeching his wife to return to him. I never knew the fellow had a wife – apparently he married a famous beauty called Paula Patton. She recently left him, reported to be cheesed off by a string of indiscretions, which may or may not have included the twerking episode with Miley.

The peculiar thing about the pop video is that it features a scene where Thicke is having his chest hairs groomed by a comely young wench. If he were a gorilla, this might signify nothing more than an extended delousing session, but the torso of a man is too naked to be stroked for non-erotic reasons. Given that this is so, why would a video intended to persuade his wife to return to the marital bed display the very behaviour that caused her to leave it in the first place? I can think of three possible reasons:

1) The man is a halfwit.

2) The man is a moron.

3) The man is a halfwit and a moron.

Having said all that, who is to say that she won’t go back to him? Women are very unpredictable in the way they react to cheating husbands. When Tiger Woods’ missus found out about his philandering, she attempted to drive him down the freeway with a long iron. No question of forgiveness there. Yet even an ultimate power-dame like Hillary Clinton decided to grit her teeth and persevere when the whole world knew that her husband’s appendage was a popsicle in Monica’s mouth. Did she exact her vengeance by taking her own lover, like a Russian queen? I am tempted to search for rumours using google, but that would open up a whole new plate of oysters.

What sort of woman is best-equipped to deal with a cheating spouse? My shortlist would include the actress Taylor Schilling, pictured below. The first thing to say about her is that she’s played a lesbian in a popular TV drama – this sends a powerful “Who needs your dick anyway?” message to any man who might be tempted to play fast and loose with her.

The second point to note is that she’s been cuddling the actor Zac Efron in a very public way, even though Master Efron is believed to be gay by those who speculate about such matters. This suggests the emotional fluidity of a woman who doesn’t pine for the attention of a macho man. If the hound chases after bitches, she’ll just turn her back on him and canoodle with the poodle.

Miss Schilling has yet to marry at the age of 29, and when she does announce her nuptials let us hope her future husband will be as faithful as the night is long. But if worst comes to worst, she has my permission to party with the lesbians and snuggle with the gays before finding a new spouse. It’s what her fans will expect of her.

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"I'm so sorry baby! Please come back to me! I promise never to do anything unfaithful, such as this thing I am doing right now, again."

Blurred lines, indeed.
Thicke by name, thick by nature. Though his chest hair is laughably thin.
1) The man is a halfwit.
2) The man is a moron.
3) The man is a halfwit and a moron.
LOL Yep, he definitely was not thinking right in making that kind of video! But who knows...maybe she has a fetish he knows about that we don't...
Did you see the Q&A with Robin thicke where he basically just got digitally abused for an hour about blurred lines. It was glorious. x
All of this might be true but now I have a Blurred Lines earworm. It's irresistible! So, thanks for that.

Is Effron gay? I hadn't heard that. I hate when people are outed. So rude.
i guess the question is; is he selling more records and concert tickets since miley took him under her wings?
Does Robin Thicke have a double barrelled name? If not I can think of a good one. I think reason number 3 about hits the nail on the head. As far as cheating spouses go then I'm with Mrs T. Woods in punishing an offender with his own tools ;)
Ninja: If he wasn't such a meathead, I might believe it was a weird attempt at reverse psychology!

Steve: His chest hair is practically invisible, but I don't think having a tuft on your chin entitles you to laugh at it.

Rose: Time will tell, Rose. I don't expect her to return to him.

Scarlett: I recently saw a link for that interview, Miss Scarlett. It is a treat I shall look forward to!

Exile: 'Blurred Lines' is quite a catchy tune, but why do they keep saying "good girl!". Does Thicke know any good girls? No one knows whether Efron is gay, it's pure speculation. He might even be pretending to be gay.

Billy: He's certainly got more publicity, because even I've heard of him now! But a lot of people think he's sleazy, so maybe his fan base hasn't increased.

Juliette: Mrs Tiger Woods is a blonde like you, Jules. I just thought I'd mention it. :) Have you ever swung a golf club, BTW?
Well, that's kind of a bummer that when Robin Thicke rose to super stardom he also lost his wife. Though it sounds like his Get Back video is just him trying to make his ex jealous instead of really asking for forgiveness. Paula doesn't look like she will have any trouble getting a date, so my heart is not really breaking for either of them.
Thicke by name, thick by nature. How could he do that to his gorgeous wife? And with a fungi-coated-tongue singer whose name sounds like a new strain of STD! Ppppppplease.

BTW, GB, your friend Dickie was in town today book-signing. Just sayin...

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Maybe Thicke was being deep and meta by addressing the reason she split head on? Or maybe he's just a dummy who doesn't learn.
So blondes really do have more fun! :) Yes I have swung a club a few times. Totally missed the ball but then I wasn't angry enough.....
I guess Robin thinks his chances of getting her back will be better if he goes public but perhaps Robin should keep his reconciliations efforts private.
I'm still laughing from your line about Hillary taking a lover like a Russian queen! I deliberately left out a few words, but it got me thinking when you mentioned Orange Is The New Black! As for Robin, his publicity hound ways confirm that he's a number 3. Oh, and being an unmarried Hollywood actress is not unusual for a 29- year-old anymore.

Good for her for leaving if he was cheating around on her. I can't stand this guys music at all.
Jimmy: Nor do they appear to be heartbroken, Jimmy. Did he rise to stardom because of Miley? I'd like to think that Miley outranks him, because he seems like an oaf.

Joe: Is Miley the fungi-coated tongue singer? I think she's a bigger star than him. I'm glad to hear Dicky is taking his retirement planning seriously! Do pay him my regards if you see him.

Michael: Meta is a good work to use on its own! Thicke might well be a metafool.

Jules: Oh, Jules, we must play a round of crazy golf one of these days!

Cocaine Princess: Private reconciliation and public chest-stroking make uneasy bedfellows, Miss Princess. I fear he has blown his chance.

Julie: I've heard the rumours about Hillary do involve same-sex trysts, but I can't bring myself to google them. I could easily waste hours on the subject. I think 29 is too young for a Hollywood Actress to marry. Sharon Stone didn't get her first big part until she was 32!

Mary: I have only heard the song he performed with Miley. I found its lyrics incomprehensible.
The first word which came to mind when I saw the halfwit and his wife:
I am such a pig.
>her husband’s appendage was a popsicle in Monica’s mouth

This is poetry.
Gorilla, Miley outranks him by a million miles. Miley is a true icon. Thicke is something of a one hit wonder("Blurred Lines"). He didn't become famous because of the twerking incident, but it certainly catapulted him to new heights of fame.
I am copying your brilliant lines here, GB, because I want to re-read them: "This suggests the emotional fluidity of a woman who doesn’t pine for the attention of a macho man. If the hound chases after bitches, she’ll just turn her back on him and canoodle with the poodle." You're very astute and articulate. If only humans could write like you.

In the wonderous US of A, Thicke's infidelity was really big news. I guess we're more fascinated by that stuff than those in the jungle kingdom.
I've seen this pathetic display of remorse and the man is definitely thick. She's simply too hot to put up with that. I think you'll notice, it's only the homely ones who stay married to the man-whores.
Al: I wouldn't call you a pig. "Dirty dog" would be a better epithet. At least you didn't wish she had bigger bazongas.

Fred: I actually borrowed it from Keats, but I appreciate your admiration nonetheless!

Jimmy: I'm glad to hear that, Jimmy. I thought of him as Miley's prop during the twerking routine. I didn't even bother to remember his name.

Robyn: Thanks, Robyn! I think more highly of those lines now that you have praised them! Do you think Miss Schilling would appreciate them too?

Scott: Yes, she certainly won't be short of suitors! Let's hope her next choice is a better one.
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