Monday, November 02, 2009
Hummus hostilities
Lebanese chefs have made a giant plate of hummus to shame the Israelis, who have been manufacturing their own version of the paste and exporting it around the world. The folks in Lebanon want everyone to know that hummus is Lebanese and that the Israelis are vulgar copycats. A noble objective, you might think, but what then? There is no evidence that consumers are dissatisfied with the counterfeit product or care who makes it. If the Lebanese really want to get even they should start exporting strudel and see how the Israelis like it. It could lead to a new form of low-intensity warfare where you mimic the culinary habits of your enemy to sow confusion in their ranks. But I hope it doesn’t come to that – food fights are terribly futile and no one wins in the end.
It’s good to see the Lebanese take pride in their native dishes. For many years, their image was sullied by Corporal Max Klinger of the 4077th M*A*S*H. For those not familiar with the show, Klinger was a Lebanese-American buffoon who thought he could get out of the army by wearing ladies’ clothes. Hoping to get a medical discharge by convincing everyone he was nuts, he succeeded only in convincing them he was a gay transvestite. The ironic thing is that Klinger wasn’t homosexual at all, which was just as well, because a gay man with a nose his size would never have got laid. It is a curious aspect of human sexuality that only heterosexual women find big noses attractive. And not all of them, by any means, it’s very much a niche market.
But let’s get back to the hummus. The Israelis are clearly in the wrong and should stop pretending they know how to make Arab food. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s condiments,” sayeth the Lord their God. Once again, the Children of Israel have broken the commandments of Johnny Jehovah and are asking for a family-sized can of whoopass. Maybe He’ll force them to eat manna-from-heaven again, a fitting penance for culinary malfeasance given that it tastes like bird crap. Or maybe He’ll send a plague of snails to devour their herbs and season their meats with green slime. The Land of Israel shall resound with weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, particularly when the dinner gong soundeth.Let’s not single out the Israelis for blame though. All humans are guilty of stealing recipes, particularly from the animal kingdom. Take eggs, for example. Although no one knows whether the chicken came before the egg, it is beyond dispute that they both came before Delia Smith, the television housewife and cook. Yet the English Rose of Woking cracks them open without a word of gratitude to the humble hens that squatted and strained to produce them. Anyone would think that she’d laid them herself. If I were God, I would punish her for her vanity and presumption by making her incubate a fertile ostrich egg between her warm and wobbly thighs. For every yolk she has cruelly whisked, let her hatch a little ostrich chick and raise it as one of her own. It takes more than custard pies to get you into heaven.
Labels: Delia Smith, Hummus, Israel, Jehovah, Lebanon, Max Klinger
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Forgive me, but the 'goo' on Ms Smith's finger causes me to make the assumption that she would enjoy using my Lollipop to stir her bowl...
Goo shmoo... what about that big nose?
I have never eaten hummus in my life. What am I missing out on?
But I do know one thing, hummus is definitely not an Israeli dip/spread.
Well, as long as we all agree that apple pie originated in the Netherlands!
I have never eaten hummus in my life. What am I missing out on?
But I do know one thing, hummus is definitely not an Israeli dip/spread.
Well, as long as we all agree that apple pie originated in the Netherlands!
Mr. GB -- This may be highly irregular, but do you take requests? I would love to read a post by you on bacon, the only food delicious enough to be worthy of an international incident. I'm certainly not up to the task, but you are so deft with your quill that I do believe you're the primate for the job.
I do enjoy hummus - and your right I care not where it comes from as long as it remains tasty. But I have recently wondered where the Falafel comes from. Is that Israeli or is that a Lebanese thing as well?
All I know is that the pavlova was invented in New Zealand. It doesn't matter what the Australians say
this is my first time reading about hummus. and basically that's all i have to say.
i love your writings. will keep coming!
i love your writings. will keep coming!
Food is a very serious subject, Mr Bananas, not just in the jungle: as you brilliantly wrote, humans don't fight for food, but for the nationality of what they eat. How silly can one get?
Take for instance the battle for champagne between France and Spain. The Spaniards had to change the name of their sparkling wine and call it "cava"; the Portuguese had to call it "espumante"; the Italian, "asti"; the German, "sekt".
All for a glass of tasty effervescence, that in the long run... who cares where it comes from? Well, maybe Dom Perignon would, but he's not coming back to tell us...
Same thing with the delicious hummus, wherever it comes from. ;)
Take for instance the battle for champagne between France and Spain. The Spaniards had to change the name of their sparkling wine and call it "cava"; the Portuguese had to call it "espumante"; the Italian, "asti"; the German, "sekt".
All for a glass of tasty effervescence, that in the long run... who cares where it comes from? Well, maybe Dom Perignon would, but he's not coming back to tell us...
Same thing with the delicious hummus, wherever it comes from. ;)
As long as no one takes away my mini packages of hummus w/ pretzel chips that allow me to buy a variety of flavors, I'm happy. It's probably made in china
Hey, I never knew gorillas to possess such a wonderful and original sense of humour. You guys generally seem so morose and downcast.
You are going right into my blogroll. Keep writing.
You are going right into my blogroll. Keep writing.
Blase: I think it means she'd like to give you a prostate examinations - if you're man enough to let her.
Sabrina: How about putting up a picture of your gooey fingers, Saby? You can lick them clean afterwards.
Donut girl: Are you one of those ladies who like men with big noses, Ms Donut? There's no shame in it. And I think you should try hummus once with pita bread.
Ana: Thanks for the suggestion, Ana, but as a vegetarian I know very little about bacon. I know a bit about wart hogs though. Irritable creatures who are terrified of lions.
Deidre: Falafel is certainly an Arab food. Are the Israelis making it as well, the cheeky blighters?
Nursemyra: I'll take you word for it, Nursie. Wasn't the boomerang a Maori weapon?
Max: Thanks, Max. Come as often as you want!
Sabrina: How about putting up a picture of your gooey fingers, Saby? You can lick them clean afterwards.
Donut girl: Are you one of those ladies who like men with big noses, Ms Donut? There's no shame in it. And I think you should try hummus once with pita bread.
Ana: Thanks for the suggestion, Ana, but as a vegetarian I know very little about bacon. I know a bit about wart hogs though. Irritable creatures who are terrified of lions.
Deidre: Falafel is certainly an Arab food. Are the Israelis making it as well, the cheeky blighters?
Nursemyra: I'll take you word for it, Nursie. Wasn't the boomerang a Maori weapon?
Max: Thanks, Max. Come as often as you want!
Secretia: Your secret is out, you've got a sweet tooth!
The Jules: Perhaps, but they have less fun than the combatants.
Ms OWO: His hair would be be fine if he didn't have bald patches all over his body. What about the big nose, Missy? Howja like a nose like that poking the small of your back?
Leni: What a liberal-minded woman you are, Leni. One day, I will make all my recipes freely available. Apart from the ones containing secret ingredients like hornet jism.
Brooke: He's got a long way to go, Brooke! How do you feel about men with big noses, dear woman?
Chele: Preztel chips? Isn't it wonderful how many things you can eat with hummus. I like it on crunchy vegetables.
Doctor: Hello and welcome, Doctor. We're not as grumpy as we look, it's just a "don't fuck with me" pose for the jungle.
The Jules: Perhaps, but they have less fun than the combatants.
Ms OWO: His hair would be be fine if he didn't have bald patches all over his body. What about the big nose, Missy? Howja like a nose like that poking the small of your back?
Leni: What a liberal-minded woman you are, Leni. One day, I will make all my recipes freely available. Apart from the ones containing secret ingredients like hornet jism.
Brooke: He's got a long way to go, Brooke! How do you feel about men with big noses, dear woman?
Chele: Preztel chips? Isn't it wonderful how many things you can eat with hummus. I like it on crunchy vegetables.
Doctor: Hello and welcome, Doctor. We're not as grumpy as we look, it's just a "don't fuck with me" pose for the jungle.
eggs? that's your cause? since when do gorillas care about them? and is it just poultry eggs? or do you shed a tear for the lost ones while consuming sushi too? equality, goranas. equality.
I hear Max Klinger was raped with a falafel. Is that true, or was this just another one of his concocted tales to get discharged?
I make a chickpea paste which I use as a facepack nightly. Ruf has to be warned that, although it may look like hummus and smell like hummus, it most definitely should not be removed from the fridge and spread on a piece of bread if he wants to be sure to wake up next to a woman with fabulous skin every morning.
Delia changed cooking for so many people - particularly cooking the Xmas turkey. However, I think she lost a lot of fans when she squawked vitriol at the lacklustre efforts of the Norwich City faithful.
Delia changed cooking for so many people - particularly cooking the Xmas turkey. However, I think she lost a lot of fans when she squawked vitriol at the lacklustre efforts of the Norwich City faithful.
Ms OWO: Really? I hope you'll soon be poked by something better.
Scarlet: Hatching is easier than laying, Miss Scarlet. Would you have the patience to sit on an egg?
Kara: Are you talking about fish eggs, Missy? They are like insects - too small and numerous to worry about. I'd like to give you a big one to sit on.
Static: That was a false rumour spread by Hotlips after he surprised her while having a shower.
Emerson: She wouldn't go anywhere near your soft spot, she's too traditional for that sort of thing.
Joanna: I wonder if he's tempted to have a nibble if he gets hungry in the middle of the night. Would you bathe in asses' milk to keep your body smooth?
Leni: It's a gorilla codeword for something else, Leni. Real hornet jism would be impossible to get your hands on.
Scarlet: Hatching is easier than laying, Miss Scarlet. Would you have the patience to sit on an egg?
Kara: Are you talking about fish eggs, Missy? They are like insects - too small and numerous to worry about. I'd like to give you a big one to sit on.
Static: That was a false rumour spread by Hotlips after he surprised her while having a shower.
Emerson: She wouldn't go anywhere near your soft spot, she's too traditional for that sort of thing.
Joanna: I wonder if he's tempted to have a nibble if he gets hungry in the middle of the night. Would you bathe in asses' milk to keep your body smooth?
Leni: It's a gorilla codeword for something else, Leni. Real hornet jism would be impossible to get your hands on.
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We are a group of students from cochin who are currently building a web portal on kerala. in which we wish to include a blog roll I found your Blogs interesting so inviting you to join our new venture you could find our site here: http://enchantingkerala.org
the site is currently being constructed and will be finished by 20 of Dec 2009
we wish to include your blog located here
http://japingape.blogspot.com/
we'll also have a feed fetcher which updates the recently updated blogs from among the listed blogs thus generating traffic to your recently posted entries.
If you are interested in listing your site in our blog roll; kindly include a link to our site in your blog in the prescribed format and send us a reply to enchantingkerala.org@gmail.com and we'll add your blog immediately. Ypu can add to our blog if you have more blog pls sent us the link of other blog we will add here
pls use the following format to link to us
KeralaTravel
Write Back To me Over here bijoy20313@gmail.com
hoping to hear from you soon.
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Jamie Farr was an inspired piece of casting by the people who made MASH, the best episode being when he falls in love with a woman and dresses in a pristine army uniform to impress her, which is regarded as the most nuts outfit he's ever tried.
Why would a Lebanese have a Jewish name? Leb food is overrated. Wherever you go it's always the same. Tahini - hummus - taramasalata - has nobody got any teeth over there?
Gadjo: I vaguely remember that one. It was very odd seeing him in military uniform.
Lady Daphne: Couldn't agree with you more, milady. No lunch without crunch, as we say in the jungle.
Lady Daphne: Couldn't agree with you more, milady. No lunch without crunch, as we say in the jungle.
That woman was scarier than the MASH guy by a long Lebanese mile.
Silly jews. Just because you're the chosen ones doesn't mean you can claim credit for all tasty dips. I'm with the Lebanese!
Silly jews. Just because you're the chosen ones doesn't mean you can claim credit for all tasty dips. I'm with the Lebanese!
The Egyptians make humous with beans, not chickpeas. Much better than this Levantine muck, whether made by Jews of Druze.
The Mexicans didn't invent rice, but they sure know how to work it. I could see a feud between the Chinese and the Mexicans, but they seem to get along fine.
Maybe the real problem is no one gives a rat's ass about hummus, and that makes the hummus-producing countries crotchety.
Maybe the real problem is no one gives a rat's ass about hummus, and that makes the hummus-producing countries crotchety.
最近流行の家出掲示板では、各地のネットカフェ等を泊り歩いている家出少女のメッセージが多数書き込みされています。彼女たちはお金がないので掲示板で知り合った男性の家にでもすぐに泊まりに行くようです。あなたも書き込みに返事を返してみませんか
童貞を奪ってみたい女性たちは、男性にとって「初体験」という一生に一度だけの、特別なイベントを共に心に刻み込むことを至上の喜びにしているのです。そんな童貞好きな女性たちと高級チェリーで最高のSEXをしてみませんか
最近寂しくて困っています。夜一人で寝るのが凄く寂しいです…隣で添い寝してくれる男性いませんか？見た目とか特に気にしません。優しくて一緒にいてくれる方大歓迎☆一緒に布団で温まりましょう♪shart.enamorado.de-me@docomo.ne.jp
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: Friday, December 04, 2009
: Friday, December 04, 2009
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最近旦那とマンネリで全然Hしてません。正直もうかなり欲求不満です…誰か相手してくれる方いませんか？空いている時間は多いと思うので都合は合わせやすいと思います。お互い楽しめる関係になりたいな。人妻でも平気な人いたら是非相手してください☆一応18歳以上の人限定でお願いします。上はどこまででも大丈夫なんで excellent.lady@docomo.ne.jp
# posted by : Friday, December 11, 2009
: Friday, December 11, 2009
当サイトでは無料でオナ動画を見ることができます。また、ライブチャット機能でリアルタイムオ○ニーを見るチャンスも高く、興奮間違いなしです。また、一人Hのお手伝いを希望される女性もあり、お手伝いいただけた方には謝礼をお支払いしております
日本最大、だれもが知っている出会い系スタービーチがついに復活、進化を遂げた新生スタビをやってみませんか？趣味の合う理想のパートナー探しの手助け、合コンパーティー等も随時開催しています。楽しかった頃のスタビで遊んでみよう
昨日友達とセフレを作るのが難しいな～、出会い系サイトの規制が厳しいはとか話してて、アダルトSNSのサイトが今のところは狙い目やって聞いたから使ってみたけど、近場で楽にセフレを作れてホンマ手軽やはｗｗｗ
誰にも言えない秘密があります。実はとってもＨなんです、せっかく女として生まれたからにはアブノーマルな世界に飛び込んでみたいです☆普段では考えられないプレイを思う存分楽しみ、経験したいんです♪快楽に溺れさせてくれませんか？一緒に感じ合いましょう！！都合はつくのですぐに時間を合わせられます。18歳よりも上の方がいいです！！ quietness@docomo.ne.jp
# posted by : Friday, December 18, 2009
: Friday, December 18, 2009
日本最大級、だれもが知っている出会い系スタービーチがついに復活、グリーより面白い新生スタビをやってみませんか？趣味の合う理想のパートナー探し、合コンパーティーに興味がある方はぜひ無料登録してみてください。楽しかった頃のスタビで遊んでみよう
あなたのSM度を簡単診断、SM度チェッカーで隠された性癖をチェック！真面目なあの娘も夜はドS女王様、ツンデレなあの子も実はイジめて欲しい願望があるかも！？コンパや飲み会で盛り上がること間違いなしのおもしろツールでみんなと盛り上がろう
初書き込みで申し訳ないんですが、都合のいい男性探しています。不況の中でも会社が高成長してて、忙しい毎日です。お陰でプライベートが充実していなくって、溜まる一方です。財産的にも多少余裕が今のところあるのでお礼もできます。何より、この書き込みが読まれているのかちょっと怪しいですけど…。アドレス置いとくので、消されないうちにメールくれたら嬉しいです。inspiration.you@docomo.ne.jp
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