Wednesday, December 14, 2016

House of Kink

A dominatrix is causing much aggravation in a residential neighbourhood of Exeter, which is a town in Merry England. It seems her neighbours are highly displeased to be living near a house where grown men are having their buttocks abused. Have they actually heard the thwack of cane on butt cheeks and the ecstatic cries of agony? This has not been disclosed. They complain, instead, about the large number of men entering and leaving the house. How are they to explain such comings and goings to their children?

“We shouldn’t be forced to be having these conversations with our children at this age,” said Amelie Foster, a mother of two.

I see her point. One can easily imagine the awkward exchanges taking place.

Child: Mummy, who are all those men who visit Auntie Trixie’s house?

Mother: They’re naughty men who go to Auntie Trixie to be punished, darling. You mustn’t talk to them.

Child: Does Auntie Trixie make them sit on her naughty chair?

Mother: She spanks their bottoms, darling. They’re very naughty.

Child: Will Daddy go to Auntie Trixie when he’s naughty?

Mother: No, darling. Mummy gives him all the punishment he needs.

An amicable solution might yet be possible. The residents should bear in mind that the clients of a dominatrix are submissive men who like to be bossed about. If suspicious housewives ordered them to mind their language, dress smartly and avoid eye-contact with children, they would probably be happy to comply. They might even offer them a tip for their concern.

This is not a dispute on which I can take sides. I hope and pray it is resolved with the maximum of goodwill and the minimum of legal fees. Let everyone’s rights be respected. The dominatrix must be free to scavenge and eat, like the buzzard or coyote; the mother must be free to protect her cubs, like the vixen or she-wolf. Every species has its place in the natural order. The harmony of a well-balanced eco-system is a wonder to behold.

It’s been a minor ambition of mine to befriend a dominatrix and persuade her to comment on this blog. She would give us a fresh perspective on events. I’d be the first to admit that the well-rounded dominatrix knows things outside my spectrum of experience. I have never walked on human flesh while wearing stiletto heels, for example. I would probably cause a fatal injury if I tried to. The presence of a dominatrix would allow me to enjoy such deeds vicariously. And I could tell her stories about crocodiles and baboons. It would be a match made in heaven.

Are there dominatrices who fantasise about getting spanked themselves? This is a question that continues to intrigue me. I should imagine there must be a few. To spank a woman who spanks men for a living would be an act of imperious grandeur. The spanker would acquire prestige surpassing that of a Roman emperor. Few men would be worthy of this solemn and majestic duty. But a gorilla might be.


I received the following email from the Mistress of the now infamous house!

I kindly asking you to removed the photo of myself and my boyfriend house as legal action have taken against media on account of in breach of several laws. And even further steps against the neighbours after initial warning to neighbour for harassment and lies.

Police investigating criminal offence against the neighbours.

So kindly remove the photo.

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deep thoughts, noble ape. hope we get to hear from the other side!
That is great dialogue. Aunt TRixie keeps them in line,

Not a swpirit of "live and let live" there!
Stiletto heels are my favorite weapon of choice.
What a spanking good post.
Really hit the mark.
You don't actually need to SEE something to feel it. For example, imagine having your testicles squeezed very, very tightly. You don't need to SEE it in order to FEEL it.

I spanked a girl once. It was pretty great!
Nice dialogue, Mr. GB!

Any female neighbour worth her salt would sort this problem out herself. She should stand on the neighbouring fence in high boots and a laced up corset with a whip in one hand and a belt in the other. Her red lipstick perfectly applied. As the men came and left, she should crack her whip and and tell them in future to use the back entrance - - so to speak —or punishment will reach a new level of stiletto piercing.

Of course Doms want to be spanked sometimes. There is always a bit of yin in the yang.
Anne Marie: I'm glad you appreciated the deepness, Anne Marie. Some of my thoughts are deeper than the Un'goro crater. :)

Pop Tart: Is there an Aunt Trixie in your neighbourhood, Ms Pop Tart? There ought to be!

Mistress Maddie: I'm sure you're deadly with all your weapons, Mistress. :)

TSB: Did it leave a red spot too, Mr B?

Exile: True, but it must be more satisfying if you can see her face while she's doing it. I hope she enjoyed her spanking as much as you enjoyed giving it.

Jules: You should give those prissy housewives a few lessons, Jules. Have you been to Exeter? I think it's your kind of town. ;)
I bet she would love to have a japing ape spank her! You go, gorilla!

In answer to "what do we tell our children?" When I was a child, we lived next to a prostitute. We even shared a driveway with her, and sometimes truck drivers would leave their trucks running in our driveway while they went inside and used her services. When I asked why there were always different trucks parked in our driveway, my parents said, "our next door neighbor is a prostitute, and those are her johns."

"All the guys are named John?" I asked.

It was a teachable moment!

I never heard spankings, though.

Wow, you were "asked" to remove her photo?
I wonder how she found it on your blog?
Did she threaten to give you a good smacking if you didn't?
Oh so you did get a dominatrix to visit your blog after all even if it was just to demand that you take down a photo.
remove the photo? those darned dominatrixes can dish it out but they sure can't take it.
I wonder if Mrs Pouncer has moved to Exeter? May I take this opportunity to wish you a merry Yuletide GB and all the best - or rather 'bon courage' as we say over here - for 2017, which I predict is going to be even worse than 2016.
Well, she is being kind, GB. Being as she likes to expose it all, why would the photo bother her? That's odd. I can understand her neighbors being bothered. She really should move her prey into a soundproof basement.
Shoshanah: Thanks for the encouragement, Shoshanah. It if happens, I'll invite you to be a witness. :) I love your parents for being truthful instead of fobbing you off with some hogwash.

TSB: I think she sees herself as a respectable member of the community, Mr B. I fear her solicitor more than her spankings.

Mary: Yes, Mary, but I was hoping for more than a snotty email. She's clearly not an expert at making friends and influencing people.

Mr Rosewater: Maybe I should have offered to pay her.

Lady Daphne: Thank you, Lady Daphne, it's always a pleasure to be graced by your presence. 2017 will be a wonderful year in which benign aliens visit our planet. Their leader will propose to Mrs Pouncer.

Robyn: Yes, Robyn, you're right about the noise. No one should have to live with the sounding of spanking and moaning in their ears. She was pouting suggestively in the picture, so maybe she thought it was incriminating.
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