Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Numbers game

Warren Beatty’s biographer estimates that Mr Beatty has slept with 13,000 women. 13,000 looks like a suspiciously round figure, so he’s probably rounding to the nearest 500. The allegation, nevertheless, is highly defamatory. In this day and age, the man-ho and the hoochie are equally despised. Hef, in his dotage, is a grim reminder of where a life of reckless debauchery leads. A ridiculous old ghoul in a dressing grown is not a fate to aspire to.

Mr Beatty, of course, denies having slept with anything like that number. Commenting on the claim, he said:

“That would mean not just that there were multiple people a day, but that there was no repetition.”

He makes an excellent point. If you don’t have any repeats, you won’t even remember what you did to whom. It will all be a blur of sweaty bodies and writhing flesh.

You have to admire the man for using arithmetic to refute a tall story. Much better than getting a po-faced lawyer to make a statement and threaten legal action. In any case, it’s very difficult for anyone to prove he hasn’t slept with an improbably large number of women. However many women back you up, there’ll be countless others who won’t bother to testify. And a few will make false confessions for the fun of it.

The fact that Warren Beatty hasn’t bedded thousands of women doesn’t mean he wasn’t a prolific stud in his heyday. One of his “repeats” was the saintly Joan Collins, still looking attractive at the age of 83. According to Joan, she was a very frequent repeat:

“I once shocked my friend Joanne Woodward – who was married to Paul Newman – by saying I needed a break because the endless bonking was exhausting me.”

I don’t see why Joanne Woodward was shocked by that remark. Don’t women enjoy girlie talk? Maybe she was surprised that Joan found it exhausting. For most women, sex is an invigorating tonic that charges up their batteries. It’s been scientifically proven that female athletes perform better after a quick bonk. Perhaps Joan isn’t the athletic type.

For the sake of argument, let’s assume that Beatty has slept with 500 women in show business. He still has to explain why he chose to settle down with Annette Bening. When asked this question, he gave the following cryptic reply:

“To answer that would be reductive, and she means too much to be reductive.”

I don’t see what point he’s trying to make. All knowledge is “reductive” in some sense. If you don’t reduce a phenomenon to something simpler, it remains a mystery. Maybe he just doesn’t want to embarrass his wife by listing all her good points. My own theory is that he found her pretty face irresistible. I’ve looked at Annette Bening’s face on many occasions, and I can’t find fault with it in any way. Having an exceptionally pretty wife must be a great consolation for a man whose incessant bonking has drained him of his virile juices.

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After so much sex I'm surprised the hydraulics would still work!!! I know when the Lad is here, we bonk sometimes 5/6 times a weekend and I'm exhausted. And then there was Mae West...." My assistant says there are 7 men at the door. I says send one home, I'm exhausted."
Maybe he just needed another hobby.

You know, they say that when the power goes out in a city, nine months later, there's a baby boom. This is because couples can't just sit around playing video games and watching television when the power is out.

Maybe it works the other way, too. Maybe if Warren Beatty had had a hobby back then, he would done that instead.

He might have saved himself from a lot of penicillan shots.

he's lying. period.
I doubt much sleeping went on.
Of course, I could be jealous.
Which I am.
I could be jealous too, GB, but what does "reductive" mean? He's a slimy weirdo. Annette could've done a lot better (e.g., Paul Newman).
Pretty and smart as a whip - can't fault him for picking her.
man, he must have got stuck on genesis in bible class. he sure tried to go forth and multiply.
Mistress Maddie: I understand your situation, Mistress. If you're busy during the week, you have to cram it during the weekend. Just keep taking the vitamins. :)

Nasreen: Perhaps he had an addictive personality. And when you've reached the top in one sport, taking up tennis or golf doesn't seem so enticing.

Anne Marie: He's lying about NOT sleeping with 13,000 women, Anne Marie? What inside information do you have?!

Al: 13,000 is too big a number to be jealous of. If the idea doesn't tire you, you haven't done the mathematics.

Robyn: He has an annoying, constipated way of speaking, doesn't he Robyn? Paul Newman was much more fluent.

Tami. I bet she can crack a whip too, Ma'am! Why do think she picked him?

Mr Rosewater: I suspect multiplying was the last thing on his mind.
It exhausts me just thinking about having to change the sheets 13,000 times.
I've heard that the lead singer of the Band Kiss as well as Gene Simmons also slept with upwards of 2000 women and they took a polaroid picture of each one to add to their conquest photo album. I remember hearing them say this years ago in an interview. Who knows if it's true or not.
My goodness. I'm surprised he hasn't worn it away. He's probably using one of those purple cacti's you posted t'other week. Whips that out when they're not looking.
A good-looking chap in his hey day. Even though I'm heterosexual, I would have considered creasing the sheets with him!
A number like that has little impact, in my opinion. For me, who you ARE with is what matters, and from the perspective of comfort and joy, I am happy with repetition with my soul-mate, my wife.
I remember when Madonna worked on a movie with Warren Beatty and got super annoyed because he simply expected that all women wanted to shag him.

The really shocking thing is that even 500 women would find Warren Beatty that attractive. But I guess beauty is subjective.
husbandandme: I'm not surprised - it would make anyone's forearms ache!

Mary: Well 2000 is a more reasonable figure, but it's still too many to remember. Even polaroid pictures might not be sufficient to jog the memory.

Jules: It must have grown limp with use, Jules. How do we know he isn't using the purple dildo on himself?

Bryan: You would have probably regretted it in the morning.

Pipe Tobacco: Your devoted missus is a fine role model for any honest matron or maiden.

Shoshanah: Yes, he's so vain...I bet he thinks this post is about him. There's a theory that fame and money make a man attractive to a certain type of woman.
Yea, I am very fortunate that she p
... That she puts up with me.
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