Wednesday, November 18, 2015

New York dash

I don’t know whether to be happy or sad about the news that Al Pacino was seen sprinting through a street in Manhattan after a fan asked him for an autograph. On the plus side, a 75-year-old man who can show a clean pair of heels to stray autograph hunters must have the heart and lungs of an impala. But on the minus side, it is somewhat deflating to see the actor who played Michael Corleone run like a hare when confronted by a fellow holding a pen and notebook. Maybe he had a flashback of Don Corleone telling a business associate that either his signature or his brains would be on the contract.

The manager of the safari camp once asked me if any of the characters in The Godfather would have been at home in my community.

“Didn’t Luca Brasi remind you of a gorilla?” he said in an attempt to rile me.

“He was more like a hippopotamus who got hunted down by a pack of hyenas,” I replied. “Sonny Corleone did remind me of a baboon, though.”

“I never knew baboons had sex standing up,” smirked the manager.

“Baboons will try most things,” I remarked.

In truth, we apes could never set up an organisation like the Mafia. The code of omertà would impossible in the jungle, where the parrots overhear everything. As soon as we agreed to bump off some baboon, the news would flash through the neighbourhood in an instant.

Now I don’t deny The Godfather was a great film, but there are aspects of the plot that didn’t quite add up for me. Why, for example, was Michael Corleone so keen to marry the woman played by Diane Keaton? She wasn’t Sicilian and clearly showed signs of being the whiney, moralising type who would make a fuss whenever someone got shot in the head. Nor was she a follower of the popish religion, which allowed her to terminate a pregnancy to the great annoyance of her husband. Couldn’t Michael have foreseen all these problems? When he was a fugitive in Sicily, he had the good sense to marry a local girl who spoke no English and didn’t ask questions about the family business. But unfortunately she was killed by a car bomb intended for her husband. It was the saddest scene in the movie and I confess I cried like a baby.

You see, that’s the problem with these gangster movies. There’s never a happy ending and you leave the cinema feeling as if you’ve just been to a funeral. A few years after The Godfather, Pacino played a Cuban hoodlum called Tony Montana in a film called Scarface. The only light moment in the movie occurred when Tony’s sidekick explained how he could seduce American girls by wiggling his tongue.

“Oh, look at that f***king thing it looks like a lizard!” exclaimed Tony. “Like a bug coming out of your mouth!”

It was a brilliant line which Pacino should remember the next time he is pestered by autograph hunters.

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Would you believe dear ape, I have never seen any of the Godfather movies? And I could never figure out why Diane Keaton would be in those movies. Too much fighting. As Poison Ivy says I'm a lover, not a fighter! What a Way to Go is more more type movie.
have seen bits and pieces of the first movie; I am NOT a blood-n-gore fan at all!

give me a rom-com or a humor film!
That tongue could do the job!
The first two are the best. I love a bit of gangster me and have been known to fraternise with my peeps in northern Italy. Once I was there and the Mayor went missing and the florist was burnt to the ground overnight for not paying their "Rent" They have a fear of me, as a well spoken, English rose and refer to me as "Don Julietta" I've never got my hands dirty, so to speak, unless its to slap the face of a lascivious latin who needs to be taught some manners.

great movie. being unstuck in time, i've relived my death several times. i'll meet my maker in the tomato patch with some ill mannered brat showering me with insecticide.
Moe Greene got it in the eye while on the massage table. That's not so bad. It beats dementia.

What about Married to the Mob? I think that had a happy-ish ending.
Mistress Maddie: I can certainly believe it now that you've told me, Mistress, but I am surprised you weren't curious enough to have a little peek. I haven't seen What a Way to Go, but I do like Shirley MacLaine. Have you seen Terms of Endearment?

Anne Marie: Well it's not the blood and gore that makes it good, but I do like romcoms and comedies too.

Pop Tart: I'm so glad you clicked on the link, Ms Pop Tart. I went to a lot of trouble to find that clip.

Jules: It must have been an exquisite joy for those Latins to have their faces slapped by you, Don Julietta. I might appreciate a friendly pinch myself!

Billy: Let's hope your ticker is too strong to go that way, Billy.

Exile: Wasn't Married to the Mob a comedy? It didn't feel like a Coppola or Scorcese movie. Poor Moe Green got one in the eye before the happy ending.
It must be a long time since I've seen the Godfather, I don't even remember Diane Keaton. Or maybe I saw Godfather 2. Well, as Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves would say "that is neither here, nor there." Anywho, Gorilla... whenever we feel like we are getting old, we can just remember that Al Pacino is REALLY REALLY old.. then we will feel a lot better about our selves.
Maybe nature called and he had to find a toilet, or tree, immediately. Other than that, I got nothin', GB.
I've never watched those movies because I'm not really into gangster type movies.
I've seen The Godfather movies & I didn't like them one bit.

Scarface & Goodfellas were sooo much better!
And Michael's first wife, Apollonia, had a nice rack.
Too bad she got blown up.
Jimmy: She was in both 1 and 2, Jimmy. Don't you remember her getting her faced slapped in 2? Another thing you might be grateful for is not being chased by autograph hunters.

Robyn: Are there any trees in Manhattan, Robyn? Maybe he was running to Central Park!

Mary: They are a bit depressing, Mary, but The Godfather is good enough even for people who don't like them.

Cocaine Princess: You must like plenty of action, Miss Princess!

Al: Hah, you remember both her name and her rack! I think she removed her top without prompting too. Not bad for a virgin on her wedding night!
You're certainly right about the morose endings of gangster movies. Bugsy Malone truly is a heart-render.
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