Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Precocious lechery

Shocking news arrives from England of an 11-year-old boy who had sex with his 20-year-old babysitter. Miss Jade Hatt, pictured above, was arrested and put on trial for having sexual relations with a minor. No words of praise are high enough for the boy’s father, who spoke in her defence:

“He is sex-mad,” he said of his son. “He would have been fully up for this experience and in many ways sees it as a notch on his belt and is totally unaffected by it.”

It must have been terribly difficult for him to admit that his 11-year-old son was a compulsive fornicator who treated his sexual conquests like baseball hits. One has to pity Miss Hatt for being lured by such a remorseless jackrabbit. The judge was clearly influenced by this testimony in sentencing her to two years of hard therapy:

“Having read everything before me, it was quite clear he was a mature 11-year-old and you were an immature 20-year-old so that narrows the arithmetic age gap between you,” he said.

Age can indeed be deceptive as an indicator of emotional and physical maturity. One look at Miss Hatt’s chubby little face told me she could have had sex with a baby panda and not realised she had done anything wrong. As for the boy, one can only guess how he got to be a sex maniac at the age of 11. It seems he is tall and manly for his age, which suggests a similarity with Homo Erectus, the prehistoric ancestor of humanity. Maybe he switched on his ancient Erectus genes by adopting their diet of raw meat and wild berries. If so, it’s a warning for all parents to feed their kiddies safe tinned food, like Heinz spaghetti in tomato sauce. Infants who eat like wild beasts end up behaving like them.

It’s interesting that the judge said nothing about giving the boy help. Maybe he is too proud of his naughty deeds to be counselled by a conventional therapist. I wonder if Tom Jones could be persuaded to have a word with him. Having slept with 250 women a year at the height of his fame, he should be able to convince the boy that he knows all the ins and outs.

In spite of his track record of rampant skirt-chasing, Tom has followed fairly strict rules of conduct throughout his life. One of them concerns swearing and farting, pastimes that he revelled in in his younger days:

“I used to go to a pub that was only for men,” he recalled. “The reason was so that we could tell dirty jokes and break wind… I don't think that bad language and breaking wind is right in front of ladies,” he explained.

Okay it’s not a code of behaviour that could convert a vagabond into a gentleman, but it might nudge the boy in the right direction if Tom carefully instructed him on the finer points. Education has to start somewhere in life.

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BOTH of them should be tossed into the looney bin!

I fart and cuss around whomever I please. lucky for me, my friends (male and female) feel the same way as I do.
The reason was so that we could tell dirty jokes and break wind… My....such lofty ambitions! My will admit though, to hear one break wind is funny! As far as the sex at that age??? You may fall off your branch when I tell you this, but I never really had full blown sex till I was 23!!! Shocking right? But after that the gate never closed. Even if the Lad looked older than 11, why in fresh hell, did she think she was babysitting?
@ Anne -Marie So those sounds I've been hearing are coming from your personage?
@maddie - sex at 23? mee too! "brrrrrraaaaappppppp"
A great guy farts only by accident.
i doubt if she'll be unemployed long after single fathers read this story.

she looks like a fine young woman to me.
I wonder what the apes thought when Homo Erectus arrived on the scene.
Bad language and breaking wind isn't polite in front of the ladies but he'll use them and toss them aside like they're disposable tissues? He should see a psychiatrist. Lots going on under the hood.

When I was 11 I was still watching Saturday morning cartoons and reading Archie comics. I'm not bragging, by the way.
Anne-Marie: Do you know how to fart like a lady, Anne Marie? There's a book which explains how to do it. I've heard cussing can be sexy at the right time and place. :)

Mistress Maddie: Nothing you say could shock me, Mistress! I'm not even sure what "full blown sex" means for a gay man, but I wouldn't have blamed you for waiting until age 37 before trying it! Is it as painful as it sounds?

Ms Pop Tart: Is that a saying of Confucius?

Billy: You're a generous man, Billy. She did actually have an affair with the father before jumping on his son.

Jimmy: We thought how strange it was to see an ape walk on two legs. Does the baby-sitter remind you of anyone, Jimmy?

Exile: He claims the women always approached him for sex and he couldn't refuse them in case they thought he was gay. Wasn't there a sexy girl called Veronica in the Archie comics? I hope you weren't spanking the monkey!
"Is it as painful as it sounds?" Well, let me just say, the few times I played the submissive part in roles, the next few following days I could have had a three day run singing opera.
She kind of looks like a young Roseanne Barr
Perhaps they were playing an innocent game of doctors and nurses and it all went horribly wrong?


Tom Jones had 250women a year?That's over four women a week not excluding bank holidays and sickness!
He should have paid more attention to his song "Mama told me.."
Homo Erectus?
Isn't that something you see at a bath house?
His father needs some serious help and that kid is in need of counseling and a new family.
Regardless, the 20 year old should have known better.
I don't think I want to go to the farting and swearing bar with Tom Jones. Holding in those farts all that time he is banging all those women and just coming in the fart bar and blasting ass and letting off a string of obscenities . . . Nah, I'll pass.

But I would like to watch on camera Tom Jones farting and swearing up a storm from the comfort and safe smelling distance of my own home.
If father knows this about his son, why hire a female babysitter? That whole thing is sick and twisted, GB. And she's glowing with pride. Mature or not, 11 is only 11.
We had a case similar to this one and now they are married with kids.
Mistress: As a soprano, I dare say.:)

Jimmy: Roseanne with a lot less attitude. I hope you didn't refrain from commenting on her behaviour for fear of getting a lecture, Jimmy. :)

Jules: You mean that game can be played innocently? I never knew! Tom may have been exaggerating, Jules. I'm pretty sure he double-counted the women who slept with his wife.

Al: Not if you keep your eyes where they're supposed to be.

Mary: Not a new family which had any daughters, that's for sure. No need to worry about his foster mother being a cougar, though.

Cocaine Princess: I fear her mental age was much lower, Miss Princess.

Dr Ken: Could you really appreciate his farts on camera, Dr Ken? Some things can only properly be experienced live.

Robyn: Apparently she previously had an affair with the father, Robyn, so maybe he hired her out of loyalty. I'd say she looks more stupid than proud.

Munir: What a happy ending!
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