Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Doing the decent thing

Would you believe that Playboy magazine has decided to stop displaying pictures of naked women? Some people might say it’s the passing of an era. The manager of the safari camp thinks it’s the dawn of a new dark age.

“It’s not the end of the world,” I said on seeing his grim face. “You’ll still be able to download nudie pics from the internet.”

“That’s not the point,” he replied glumly. “Putting the clothes back on naked women is like turning the clock back. How would you like it if tourists went back to thinking gorillas were big hairy monsters?”

“Well it might stop them asking for my autograph,” I remarked.

I personally think it’s a positive step for Playboy. It will now be possible for men who enjoy reading its articles to subscribe to the magazine without being thought of as compulsive oglers of tit-and-bum. Dentists will be able to put copies of Playboy in their waiting rooms. Fashionistas will be able to admire the stylish garments of fully-clothed women. Wankers will have to fantasize about undressing these women instead of getting it all on a plate. There’s no doubt these developments are an advance for human civilisation.

Loyal readers of this blog will know that I’ve written uncomplimentary things about Hef in the past, so it’s nice to pat the old codger on the back for a change. The decision was actually made by Scott Flanders, Playboy’s chief executive, who made the following observation:

“You're now one click away from every sex act imaginable for free. And so it's just passé at this juncture.”

Hef gave it his blessing at a board meeting. In the spirit of the new Playboy, let’s hope he will now keep his own clothes on in the mansion. He will still need a nurse to undress and bathe him, of course, but there’s no need for the playmates to witness these repulsive and macabre events.

Lest anyone should accuse me of being a prude, let me emphasize that disrobing can be an admirable deed in the right context. Consider the case of Inés Estévez, a 50-year-old Argentinian actress who was recently the victim of insulting remarks because of a somewhat revealing blouse she wore at a public event.

“20 years ago, I would have killed for that, but now I wouldn't even look at them,” wrote one anonymous cyber-bully in reference to her bosom.

Miss Estévez responded to these contemptible barbs by issuing the following statement:

“For your hunger for destructive critique, you will see [on my Facebook page] a recent photo of my breasts without silicone or photo-shopping. And yes, I'm proud of them.”

In the circumstances, I considered it appropriate to accept her invitation to view the items in question. Having done so, I have no hesitation in affirming that her jahoobies are superb for a woman of 50 (or any other age). There’s no point staring at breasts unless you can link it to some higher noble purpose.

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my spouse used to subscribe to playboy; but the articles got boring, all the girls were blond with no fuzz anywhere, and everything on their bodies is made of plastic. at this point hef is nothing but an old lecher.

the porn on the internet is better!
It's the end of an era; but a good move!

Playboy's circulation has lessened so much!
Well, don't pat the old codger on the back to hard, he may fall over dead! Magazines in general, with exception of fashion, are down big people are reading online editions. Besides the fools bitching about the change can get tons of porn online.

PS. I have wonder if your related to Kong????
Do you think this is all because Hef can't get it up anymore - even with the little blue pill, GB?
I agree with Scott, it is a bit passé nowadays. You can get hold of porn faster than a pint of milk.
However, I think it's just a Playboy marketing ploy and doing something more artful and probably more teasing will give it a refreshing boost. in time the magazine will revert to its original status because that's what it is famous for and nice pair of tits with a morning cuppa gets a bloke ready for his day.
could this be another cherry coke marketing ploy?

let the rubes cry bloody murder and voila!

classic playboy emerges and all is right again in the world of self-pleasure.
They must really be getting their butts kicked to make such a desperate decision. They could have made the magazine in 2 versions, 1 safe for work, 1 NSFW. DUHHHHHHHHHH!! That would have been much smarter.
Anne Marie: Won't internet porn get boring too? Or do you and your hubby watch it together? That could be fun!

Pop Tart: Less than a million, Ms Pop Tart. A far cry from the mighty organ it once used to be.

Mistress Maddie: I'm glad to hear fashion magazines are still selling. They must be popular with drag queens, that's for sure! King Kong was an almighty fool who fell for a woman. I wrote a post about him many moons ago.

Robyn: Hef couldn't get it up with a crane, Robyn. It's about time that soggy noodle was put to sleep.

Jules: Good point about the bloke with his morning cuppa, Jules, but aren't the tabloids much cheaper than mags?

Billy: To paraphrase the CEO of Coca-cola - they're not that clever, and they're not that stupid.

Jimmy: Would you be allowed to read any version of Playboy at work, Jimmy? What about the photo of the actress from Argentina? That picture was an admirable protest against cyber-bullying, so I hope you've admired it like other people of good conscience.
Yeah but you don't get readers wives in the paper!
Gorilla, reading a magazine at work is for low class baboons. I work at work. The reason Playboy scrapped the nude photos is because they believe they will now have a wider circulation having a "safe for work" magazine. Why don't you read a SFW version of Playboy in front of some tourists at the safari camp and see if Smacker Ramrod approves, or shoots you with a tranquilizer gun? I guess I have written too much, so I can't address the cover girl and her anti-cryber bullying photo shoot.
I don't care what you say. It IS tragic. Playboy treated the female form like a work of art. Some thought and artistry went into the photography. And, if we're being honest, the retouching. But I do think it's unfortunate. Thanks for nothing, internet. F.U.

"Won't internet porn get boring too? Or do you and your hubby watch it together? That could be fun!"

well, no. I watch porn alone, man-on-man porn. yes, I watch gay male porn. MUCH more interesting!

I don't read the magazine so I really don't care either way.
Playboy has so much competition now, esp now with Instagram-- pretty much anyone these days can pose half naked.
Coulda been worse.
Coulda been a dude wearing that shirt.
Jules: You mean you get readers' wives in Playboy, Jules? Is there any way of getting back issues? :)

Jimmy: All magazines are safe for work in the African jungle, Jimmy. As long as you don't read them while being stalked by a leopard or when climbing a tree.

Exile: Well, there's always Penthouse. Is Penthouse still in circulation?

Anne-Marie: So you're like men who watch lesbian porn! Have you ever fantasized about getting between a pair of gay gigolos?

Cocaine Princess: And fully naked too, Miss Princess. I try to avoid those sites. :)

Al: Would you wear a t-shire with the slogan "Boobs are better than Moobs" on it? I would sponsor you if you did. Wait until the summer though.
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