Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Full moon
Justin Bieber has produced a state of rapture in his fans by posting a picture of his bare bottom on Instagram. You’ve got to give him his due for that. Not since the Prince Regent’s accession to the English throne has an arse been greeted with such acclaim.
“OMG can I like this 1,000 times?" wrote one delirious devotee.
When I showed the picture to my females, they asked me whether Bieber was inviting people to pinch his bum.
“Pinch it?!” I guffawed. “Not on your nelly!”. A world famous pop-brat doesn’t expose his behind for a big hairy paw to leave red marks all over it! You might be allowed to kiss it if you could convince him you were genuine fans!”
My females sucked their teeth in amusement, possibly reflecting on the fact that they have never kissed anything which they didn’t bite one second later.
As for the manager of the safari camp, his main talking point was the lack of tan on the Bieber tush.
“Why would anyone want to show the world his arse was paler than the rest of his body?” he said. “It looks like an Easter Egg that someone forgot to paint.”
“The colour contrast does catch the eye, though,” I observed. “If you’re going to moon, you may as well produce moonlight.”
The exposure of the human buttocks is a funny old custom. In the film Braveheart, the Scottish clansmen mooned the English before charging into battle, implying that their enemy was not worthy of conventional repartee. They certainly got no verbal response from the English. If you talk to someone’s bottom, the only reply you can expect is a fart.
Although Bieber has been discourteous on a number of occasions, I doubt he intended to be so this time. His moon has more of a narcissistic quality about it, as if he genuinely expects people to love his butt cheeks as much as he does. One has to pity the pathetic toadies who actually met his expectation. Hero-worship is one thing, but when you start venerating your hero’s arse you’ve turned into an abject nincompoop.
Perhaps we should thank Miley Cyrus for redressing the adulation by savagely mocking Bieber’s butt picture, even to the point of posting of a photo-shopped version with a grossly inflated posterior. Her own fans were suitably delighted with her wit:
“omg. You are too funny. Love u girl.” wrote one of them.
Now Miley is famous for horsing around, but maybe she was also hinting that male tail is no longer her cup of tea. The gossip sites inform us that her new paramour is a model called Stella Maxwell, three years her senior. Apparently Miley can’t keep her hands off her. I personally think they make a lovely couple, but I hope Miley grows her hair long so she doesn’t look like the butch one. What’s the point of lesbianism if one of the lesbians has to behave like a man?
Labels: butt cheeks, Justin Bieber, lesbian, Miley Cyrus, mooning
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I doubt any woman (or man) would want to be fucking miley; you don't know where she's been and what she's carrying (in term of diseases).
it looks like miley photoshopped kim kartrashian's big ass onto the bieb. not much of an improvement.
as for the bieb's real ass - you can keep it. he is a spoiled little piece of filth that needs to do some prison time.
it looks like miley photoshopped kim kartrashian's big ass onto the bieb. not much of an improvement.
as for the bieb's real ass - you can keep it. he is a spoiled little piece of filth that needs to do some prison time.
I have the feeling Miley is going through a phase much like Anne Hecht did. I will bet she is back with a man after this runs it's course. One the Bieber arse, not a bad fanny. I do prefer my men with a tan line though...something sexy about it.
Why did I click on that link? WHY?! Your most foul click bait ever. Content not available, anyway. Good thing you provided it.
Well, when your career is in the crapper I suppose it's appropriate to post of picture of your rear end. As for Miley I guess she has lost faith in the male species. Farewell, Miley. I hope you find love and fullfillment wherever you go.
Anne Marie: I'm guessing Miley practises safe sex. although maybe she needs a condom for her tongue. :)
Mistress M: I've often wondered about Ann Hecht. Was she with Ellen for her career? I think you're right about Miley - maybe she's just bicurious after getting jilted by men.
Pop Tart: Would you like to spank him, Ms PT?
Michael: I'm sure he'd be very pleased you said that, Michael. I sense he craves the admiration of men more than women.
Exile: Are you talking about Bieber's butt shot? How will you protect your girls from that sight?
Jimmy: Miley is just bicurious, Jimmy. There's no need to say farewell to her. You've got remain steadfast for her! It's like the parable of the prodigal son.
Billy: The picture of Bieber's butt balloon? I never knew you needed to be an artist to do that.
Mistress M: I've often wondered about Ann Hecht. Was she with Ellen for her career? I think you're right about Miley - maybe she's just bicurious after getting jilted by men.
Pop Tart: Would you like to spank him, Ms PT?
Michael: I'm sure he'd be very pleased you said that, Michael. I sense he craves the admiration of men more than women.
Exile: Are you talking about Bieber's butt shot? How will you protect your girls from that sight?
Jimmy: Miley is just bicurious, Jimmy. There's no need to say farewell to her. You've got remain steadfast for her! It's like the parable of the prodigal son.
Billy: The picture of Bieber's butt balloon? I never knew you needed to be an artist to do that.
I'm not a Bieber fan but on balance I suppose I would rather come across a picture of his butt than hear yet more stories of him behaving like a complete arsehole.
They were talking about the Bieber butt thing on a sports show I like to watch, and the female host said that it isn't even a good butt. I have to agree. The guy has been doing his sit-ups by the looks of it, but dude needs to hit some more squats. And even if it were perfectly presentable, don't post your own butt on social media. Or do it. What the hell do I know? He's the millionaire, not me.
Steve: Which goes to show that words can be more troubling than pictures. What made you hide behind the sofa during horror films?
Dr Ken: Spoken like a true jock, Dr Ken. Bieber doesn't have an athlete's butt, but it's got to be above-par for the North American landmass.
Robyn: It's a good thing he can't hear your words, Robyn, because they would sting him to the core!
Ms Pop Tart: And I'd like to see you do it, Ms PT!
Al: There are other options. You could stick out your tongue or perform a rain dance.
Mary: You ought to be their surrogate mother, Mary. I bet you'd teach them their p's and q's!
Dr Ken: Spoken like a true jock, Dr Ken. Bieber doesn't have an athlete's butt, but it's got to be above-par for the North American landmass.
Robyn: It's a good thing he can't hear your words, Robyn, because they would sting him to the core!
Ms Pop Tart: And I'd like to see you do it, Ms PT!
Al: There are other options. You could stick out your tongue or perform a rain dance.
Mary: You ought to be their surrogate mother, Mary. I bet you'd teach them their p's and q's!
Gorilla: Good point. He is doing better than most Americans who are overweight like crazy, but to put it out there like that you would think he would have a more toned rear end. Thing is pretty flat. Okay, now I have analyzed his butt way too long. You tricked me!
Oh My goodness. I go away for a while and come racing back to be greeted with that precious little diva's arse. Ugh. I'd be happy for Justin time to make me vomit and Miley to go before any ounce of class can be found, would go forth and multiply on some remote island along with their juvenile fans. Call me intolerant, if you wish.
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