Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Having it both ways

After getting jilted by the vile Schwarzenegger sprog, Miley Cyrus is now hinting that she’s bisexual:

“I never want to label myself,” she declared. “I am ready to love anyone that loves me. I am open!”

If I were Miley’s pater familias, I would advise her against being too open. The world is full of cunning opportunists looking for tempting openings to infiltrate and exploit. I’m not saying she should keep herself closed, but it’s possible to compromise by being slightly ajar. A girl must be ready to batten down the hatches if anything untoward tries to poke its head in.

Now, bisexuality is common in Nature. It works best in creatures like snakes, which can mate without getting into fixed positions where one is on top of the other. Whether humans can achieve this is debatable – I should imagine it’s possible on a friction-free surface with plenty of lubricants. A nimble waif like Miley should be more capable than most, but that doesn’t mean she should rush into any sort of wriggly manoeuvre. Recovering from a broken heart is not the best time for willy-nilly experimentation.

It’s good to see that the temporary lull in her private life isn’t stopping her from pushing the artistic envelope. Consider her recent appearance at the “Adult Swim Upfront Party” in New York City. Miley arrived at the event in an innovative butterfly costume, her small but shapely breasts covered with attractive nipple plasters. Before singing a bawdy song, she had the good manners to banter with the guests:

“Are you guys drunk yet? Are you guys high yet?” she asked. “No?! You’re going to be at a show where I’m dressed as a fucking butterfly and not be high? I’m down to share.”

I’m not sure what the last sentence meant, but the tone of her remarks is positive.

Returning to the subject of bisexuality, I wouldn’t be surprised if most powerful women were endowed with such inclinations. You don’t get to be a powerful woman without being competitive, and why would a competitive woman deny herself something a man can have? If we look at the contemporary political scene, our eyes are inevitably drawn to Mrs Clinton, who is more than capable of returning our stares. I don’t know whether Hilldog has said she’s running for president, but I’m happy to endorse her in advance of the announcement.

The question no one has thought of is this: If Mrs Clinton becomes president, who will be the first lady? It can’t be Hillary herself, because that would give her two roles. Bill is probably hoping to have the job, but the thought of him hosting official functions in an evening dress is too horrible to contemplate. The only solution I can think of is for Hillary’s mistress to move into the White House, putting her nose to the grindstone for the good of the nation. But how can this happen until we know who the blessed woman is? The ball, I believe, is in Mrs Clinton’s court.

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I don't like the trashy ms. cyrus; however, her father I would fuck in (an achy breaky) heartbeat!

bill clinton in a dress? dogs and cats be praised, NO!
i like miley, she's an excellent business woman. you can't argue with success and she's laughing all the way to the bank.
I admit it. I maximized the picture. Of Miley, not Hillary.
I am such a pig.
Her jugs aren't really all that big.
Miley's, not Hill...yeah, like I ogled Grandmas teats.
Oh, good grief, I really AM a pig.
That's a good question about first lady, GB. I think that, by association, the title would go to Monica Lewinsky. Wouldn't you agree?
I seriously can not stand Miley Cyrus. She acts like trash and it's so slutty. But I think Bill could pull off a dress if he wears the right shoes. lol
I don't want to rain over Miley's parade but she really is like the annoyingly loud kid at school who wouldn't ever shut the fuck up. And really really should have.
Anne Marie: How about Miley's dad in a dress? A man's got to explore his feminine side, don't you think?

Billy: Yes, I wonder whether she has a butler. That could be a cushy job.

Al: You can't tell what Hillary's boobs are like from the picture. Don't judge a book by its cover.

Robyn: I don't think that would work unless Hillary and Monica were an item, which I would heartily approve of. Hillary would surely be a better lover than Bill was.

Mary: I think Miley acts slutty because she's desperate to shed the Hannah Montana image.

Steve: If you rained on Miley's parade, she would let the drizzle wash over her. I see her as an accomplished female clown.
Seems like Hillary and Bill have the same tastes, probably why she stayed with him...for the left-overs maybe?! Miley has got a lovely pair indeed. Anything more than two hands full is a waste ;)
I vote Taylor Swift for first lady!
Miley and Justin Bieber should get together as they are a pair of annoying publicity hounds, and I'm sure he would satisfy her bi-curiosity. I like your idea of finding a first lady for Hillary. Too bad Ann B. Davis, aka Alice from The Brady Bunch passed away. I think they would complement each other well.

I don't know how someone as famous as Miley could really be sure anyone really loves them or is just in love with the fame and money. I am blessed by being poor and obscure, and the answer does anybody love me is a loud and thundering HELL NO! But anyway, if Bill Clinton is the First Lady does he have to get a sex change operation like Bruce Jenner??
Haha! I love that pic you posted GB.

Well, I suppose Bill would become the First Man-- the male version of the First Lady?
I'm not bisexual, but I often fantasize about being a hermaphrodite. It would put a whole new meaning to the term 'go fuck yourself'!
Well I know nothing of bisexuality, as I have only ever been in the gay lifestyle, but on the Hillary front, I do believe if she wins, Bill would be the Frist Man??? Meanwhile, I just hope there are no damn cigars. With the family no telling where they been.
Joe: I wish that were true, Joe. Sharing the same lover might put the spark back into their marriage.

Michael: She'll have to start dating Hillary before that is remotely possible.

Julie: Alice was the family cook, wasn't she? I don't think she was Hillary's type, though. Shirley Jones from the Partridge family might have caught her eye.

Jimmy: Yes, I think that's why Miley mourned the death of her dog so deeply. Dogs can't fake love. Maybe you should get a pet, Jimmy. The Japanese have invented computer pets if you can't look after a dog. I don't think a former president can have a sex change operation - it might have been discussed in the Federalist Papers.

Cocaine Princess: Bill would be unwise to accept the title of First Man, Miss Princess. There are too many macho guys who would kick his ass to prove it wasn't true.

Bryan Jones: That's not at easy as it sounds. Are you sure your reach would be long enough?

Mistress M: Do you know any gay men who've used cigars, Mistress M? I suspect they're not sturdy enough to be used in that way.
I think it's sad how these famous people are so drunk with fame that they can't seem to get enough of it.

The world is at the palm of their hands already, but they still choose to make uhm, unwise things to get MORE attention.

It's a pity. And the media is not helping a bit. They live by making these people, especially kids' life more horrible.
What about other elections for second lady? The result would be democratic and popular ...
Annoying Miley. But maybe that's her business plan. I thought Paris Hilton was annoying and with no real talent but it seems like she's doing well.
Hillary Clinton's sex life? Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place ............
Hillary does seem to be gawking at some boobs in this pic. Being married to Bill could make her hate men enough to switch teams, right? Either way, it's her business. Just hope she's the right gal for the gig.
Miley is cute, but a bit out there. If she wanted to do me I wouldn't turn her down, what with her being alive and all.
Lux: I believe they become addicted to their own fame, Miss Lux. They say it's hard to give up once you're used to it.

Leni: That sounds good in theory, Leni, but would Mrs Clinton sleep with the people's choice? We can't have a sham marriage in the White House!

Jaya: Paris Hilton inherited a lot of money, so it never mattered what people thought of her. She does have her fans, though.

Mr Table: I assume the happy place is not on Mrs Clinton's body, Mrs Table.

Ken: I hope Hillary gives you a job in her administration, Dr Ken. Hopefully not the first lady's fluffer.

Jono: Well, no one could accuse you of being choosy. Have you seen Miley's butt bongo video? The texture of her tush is amazing!
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