Wednesday, March 11, 2015

He lived long and prospered


Silly Trekkies have been bleating and tweeting at William Shatner for not going to Leonard Nimoy’s funeral. Beam them up to the Bozo Asteroid. Mr Shatner had a previous engagement at a charity fundraiser and sent his daughters to the funeral instead. It was a logical decision that Spock would have approved of. I’ve not seen the Shatner girls, but I bet they’re a pair of lookers who are in far better shape than their pop. Had I been Leonard Nimoy, I would have given them permission to snort my ashes until they got high.

Now if Captain Kirk had not attended Spock’s funeral, it would have been an unforgiveable snub. I lost count of the number of times that Spock saved Kirk’s bacon by keeping a cool head when the captain was chasing alien totty. Furthermore, a party animal like Kirk could only have outlived a celibate Vulcan if the latter had fallen in the line of duty. “To fear death is not logical,” Spock would have said, before embarking on a suicide mission to save the Enterprise from being flushed down a wormhole into cosmic oblivion. He would still have worn a space diaper, because no bladder in the universe is controlled by logic.

We should not forget that Spock was half human, of course. Spock’s mother was a schoolteacher from Wichita Falls with a thing for pointy-eared dudes. His Vulcan genes must have been dominant, though, because he could do all of their tricks, including the telepathic face-palm and the knockout neck-pinch. He also possessed superhuman strength, because I clearly remember him kicking Kirk’s ass when they got into a scuffle. I thought he was an even-money bet to successfully defend his honour against a female gorilla.

Did Spock ever show his human half? The only time I can remember him doing so was during his verbal jousts with Doctor McCoy. I don’t believe a full-blooded Vulcan would have allowed himself to be goaded by the doctor’s obvious trolling. Spock’s desire to have the last word and show McCoy up as an irrational Earthman had a distinctly human tinge to it. They never quite got to the stage of exchanging “Yo Mama” insults, but the spirit and attitude were very much the same.

One last fact we should remember about Spock, which reflects well on the late Mr Nimoy, was that quite a few ladies found him attractive. Not all them, by any means – it was the bookish type of woman who seemed most likely to find his angular eyebrows bewitching. Here is a comment I got on an ancient post from a blogging author and mother:

“As a child, I watched Star Trek and privately worshipped Spock. His detached air and beautifully articulated sentences captured my nerdy imagination; his pointy ears, intelligent face and unconventional good looks didn't hurt a bit either.”

Her confession amused me and made me wonder whether Spock’s aloof style could be turned into a seduction technique. It’s got to be better than moaning with your mouth full.

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Comments:
Did Nimoy have a thing for (or with) Shatner's daughters, GB? It otherwise does not sound logical to me that Shatner sent them in his place.
 
This, is written very well. Very well indeed.
 
Leonard Nimoy was very talented, and appeared on a lot of TV shows as different characters before Star Trek. It's a shame that Shatner's charity event was on the same day as Nimoy's funeral. My mother-in- law didn't go to my grandma's funeral, because she had a dentist appointment. What made this even more upsetting, is that they were roommates at the time.

Julie
 
I loved Spock and Leonard Nimoy was a favorite actor. I'm a Trekkie for sure.
 
It's one of the worst things about life - one of the best ways to get girls is to not want them :P
 
kirk/shatner is a god and gods don't have to explain their actions.

as a young man i drank the spock kool-aid but the vulcan conceit and arrogance in a few of the movies cured me of any vulcan infatuation.
 
I agree with everything you said.
Live long and prosper.
Or perspire.
Whichever.
 
Alas I was never intelligent enough to employ the "Spock seduction technique" nor rugged enough to use the "Kirk Approach". Instead I used the "Scottie technique" - basically wailing to the nearest woman about my enforced celibacy that "I couldnae taek nae more".
 
Robyn: Leonard Nimoy wasn't the kind of man to kiss and tell, Robyn, but would the daughters have gone unless they had fond memories of him?

Nashville Brown: Thank you, Mr Brown.

Julie: I never knew he had many roles before Star Trek, Julie. Did he play any aliens of other species?

Mary: I would have guessed you were, Mary. You're not the conventional type. :)

Michael: You only have to pretend not to want them, Michael. I'm sure you got the required acting skills. :)

Billy: Shatner is a Canadian, who are often confused with deities. Didn't you like Spock in 'Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home'. He wasn't conceited in that one.

Al: Can a man prosper without perspiring? Maybe you could give a seminar on that topic.

Steve: Scotty said that about the ship's engine, so any woman who was a fan Star Trek would have seen your lament as blaspemous. You'd be lucky not to get your beard viciously tugged.
 
He was evidently a great photographer, but not many will remember that. Are Captain Kirk's daughter's entirely human?
 
I loved Leonard Nimoy's final tweet. It was perfect:

@TheRealNimoy

"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"


 
I'm sure a lot of women would dig Spock. He's famous and has that Goth look going for him.
 
This was truly awesome. I must admit, Trekkies scare me, because they will flip their lid with a quickness if someone disrespects any Star Treky.
 
I have a confession: I have never seen Star Wars nor do I know anything about it. That being said, half of this post went over my head.
 
Nota Bene: Captain Kirk is not known to have any daughters. If any exist, they are scattered all over the galaxy.

Cocaine Princess: How wonderful that he signed off with 'LLAP'. I hope he and Spock are now as one.

Jimmy: Spock would not approve of Goths, Jimmy. They're exactly the kind of humans he would pinch in the neck.

Michael: Has anyone told them to get a life? Maybe they'll listen if William Shatner does.

Jax: Star Wars is a different movie, Miss Jax. Chewbacca is both hairier and stupider than Spock.
 
Ha! It was a logical decision that Spock would have approved of!
I can find nothing physically attractive about Spock but his intelligent delivery might get my pants off.
 
The gift of your knickers would be sadly under-appreciated by Spock, Jules.
 
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