Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Back in the USSR

Paul McCartney phoned me the other day to moan about the injustices of the world. Apparently, some Russian bureaucrat has blamed the Beatles for the boom in recreational drug use.

“It was 45 ruddy years ago when we admitted taking stuff!” snorted Paul. “Why can’t they blame Amy Winehouse or someone? I wish I hadn’t given that concert in Red Square now, the ungrateful cunts!”

“Don’t let it bother you, Paul,” I replied. “He probably would have blamed Amy Winehouse if she were still alive. The Russians are superstitious buggers and wary of provoking the spirits of the departed. In any case, you ought to be glad that the Beatles are still considered so influential. You wouldn’t get a Russian official complaining about Cliff Richard’s effect on the younger generation.”

“Not unless the younger generation had taken a vow of celibacy after dating a butch tennis player!” quipped Paul.

“He-he-hoo!” I hooted. “What cheeky Liverpudlian waggery!”

In truth, I can’t assess the validity of this Russian fellow’s argument. He seems to be saying that the Beatles’ brief sojourn in the Maharishi’s ashram convinced many young Russians that psychedelic drugs were the answer. It seems idiotic to me, but who am I to say what Russians would believe? They believed in Communism a few years ago.

Whatever their issues with narcotics, the Beatles did set a good example in other aspects of their conduct. Unlike many other millionaire pop stars, they were never obsessed with busty women, which is something they deserve credit for. I can’t think of a single Beatle girlfriend or wife who possessed an enormous pair of hooters. The better known ones were medium at most.

I think this explains why silicone implants didn’t take off until the Fab Four split up. The modern generation of nymphettes simply has no idea that the Beatles were nuzzling small bosoms in the heyday of their fame and fortune. Nowadays, it takes something akin to a Damascene conversion to persuade a woman desirous of a bigger bust to be satisfied with what she’s got.

Such miracles do occur, though. I was heartened hear of Olivia Landin, a waifish English girl who was persuaded to enter a beauty contest before a planned boob job. She won the first prize a mere 48 hours before her appointment with the cosmetic surgeon.

“I never expected to win; it was unbelievable,” said Olivia, aged 20. “As soon as I got off stage I had second thoughts about changing anything about me.”

I’ve never had much regard for beauty contests, but the cancellation of Olivia’s breast enlargement operation proves they can be a force for good. Before drawing any firm conclusions, I would like to know how the judges came to their decision. If they noticed Olivia’s pert little jahoobies and gave them high marks, she is a worthy champion. But if they disregarded her bosom in a politically correct way, her victory would be a hollow one. A beauty pageant in which the boobs are ignored is not an authentic competition.

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So the Beatles are responsible for staving off breast implants while creating a drug-crazed world? Seems they did well to balance things out.

I am gay but THAT IS a lovely bosom
God love that picture
Again, Ringo's viewpoint gets ignored. You should have called Ringo to interview him about the boob implant portion of the article. It's only fair after getting Paul's views on the Russian drug use. You could have asked Ringo when women starting blowing up their boobs with the implants and why? It would be interesting to hear what Ringo thinks.
Perhaps Paul should record a duet with Russian songstress Lena Katina of Tatu... then he would see what he is missing!
well, i guess they have set a bad influence... i'm pretty sure, michael jackson, whitney, amy, and etc. would claim to idolize this pop quartet...
i also think that men are equally interested in enlarging their junk as women do with their boobies. which is basically because humans are never satisfied

thanks for visiting my blog and for the comment. i guess spider-man pee's by squirting it from his wrists... but then again, that's just a guess

have a nice day! ^_^

"Diaries of an Indistinctive Writer"
Robyn: Have you noticed that women who've taken LSD never have have breast implants, Robyn? Surely not a coincidence.

John Gray: I'm glad you can appreciate it, Sir. While I have your attention, could you tell whether gay men find shemales attractive?

Dr Zibbs: Yeah, it's a great one of them in India without the Maharishi sticking his oar in.

Jimmy: You're right, Jimmy, Ringo doesn't get enough attention, although I'm pretty sure about his views on breast implants, given that he married Barbara Bach.

Time Warden: Is she a busty girl then? Paul was probably the biggest boob-man of all the Beatles. His ex-wife dished the dirt on him during their divorce.

IW: Hello and welcome, Ms IW. You could be right, but it's difficult to get reliable information on todger enlargements. Do you know of anyone famous who's done it?
: D love your logic GB! It all makes sense all of a sudden! Even though I think Paul is a bit of a boob himself. : ) x
Boobs are an essential part of the package and should not be dismissed. As for The Beatles... drugs were around and being misused well before they arrived on the scene. The Ruskies should recall one of their own - Rasputin - he was hardly the master of sobriety.
as a woman, i don't understand this obsession with wanting to have big boobs (unless of course, if one is as flat as an airport's landing strip and she is really uncomfortable with that, that's another story). i think to aim for something obvious is fine but those 6kg melons each, i dont get those.

btw, Miss Landin is beautiful and thank god she won that contest to know it!
TFF I was little in the 60's, but at times have listened to the music of the Beatles, love it. Here in the US the Beatles were accused of setting Charlie Manson off on a killing and killing spree. The gov blamed it on hippies hyped up on pot. Until then you could set in the park and roll and smoke like Tommy Chong.
Seriously, you want to know how she won a beauty contest, just look at the photo again.
It's a good thing the Beatles aren't as influential as the Russian beurocrat claims. Otherwise many Russian women may have hacked off a leg in an attempt to marry Paul McCartney.
once when I was in Amsterdam with some pals, I believe we got ~"chatted up" by some Rusky geezer in an outlying coffee shop - he invited us back to his house...... and we told him that we might pop round later - he left us with the immortal line..... "You vill know my house.... I will be playing Paul McCartney WERY loud" - We didn't go!
Hannah: You think Paul is a boob, Hannah? Did you form this opinion when he split up with Heather or before then?

Steve: Good point, although I don't think Raspuntin took acid. He didn't need to, mind you. I wonder if the Russians are just letting their hair down after decades of enforced conformity.

Jaya: It's a puzzle to me as well, Jaya. I once heard a woman say "More than a handful is a waste". Very sensible, I thought.

Gossip girl: Wasn't Charles Manson nuts? I don't see how anything the Beatles did could have inspired him to kill people. Not unless he took Maxwell Silver Hamnmer seriously.

Tennyson: She is truly a beauty, but I want to know whether her boobs contributed to her victory (as they should have).

Fatman: That wouldn't work now, Fatman! The last footless female he fell in love with cost him 25 million! Once bitten, twice stump-phobic!

Artic Fox: Very wise. He might have been planning some kind of Mull-of-Kintyre orgy with bagpipes and kilts.
I meant to fire off a snappy rejoinder, but was distracted by Indistinctive Writer's comment.
We can make our junk BIGGER?
Where do I sign up for that?
She's beautiful AND fully clothed!! What I wanna know is where Sir Paul got your number, I can't even get it.
Every girl in the world should be aware, that a man worth her will praise her bust no matter what the size is. I know too many women, who describe their boobs as too small. I can't get even a smallest bit of it. My girlfriend, on the other hand, has a pair of pretty large hooters and, while they're perfect for me, she hates them for being so big. Where's justice when needed?
my boobs and i have no comment at this time.
What a lovely and beautifully proportioned rack of norks! To put such peaches to the mercy of some golf-bore masquarading as a doctor would be a sin indeed.

As for the beatles, well, never trust a hippy. That's what I think.
Al: You must have an amazing spam guard. Be careful what you wish for: taller towers are harder to erect.

Crazy Mama: Do you want my number or Paul's, Crazy Mama? I can give you mine, but Paul's is confidential.

Crawler: Hello and welcome, Mr Crawler. Maybe you should try harder to convince your girlfriend that her breasts are perfect. Have you heard of motor-boating?

Kage: Your boobs are a special case, Kage, they have to work for a living. Feel free to dissent, your opinions will always valued here.

Jon: Yes indeed - she (and they) had a fortunate escape. The Beatles may have been hippies, but you can't fault their position on the female bosom.
seems legit.
Ah yes, breasts. I've heard of those. Women have them, don't they? I seem to remember Nursey having several. Used properly they can keep one's ears awfully warm during winter. Isn't there some sort of exhibition or museum or something, somewhere called Silicone Valley in California?
@Gorilla Bananas
I wish I was able to convince here. I do everything, that I could imagine to make her like her own boobs. God, why?
Will send the old nit yr best, Mr Bananas. Spect he's hitting the old Congo (stagger) juice as we speak. Bless him.
of course, back in the sixties they were all blaming those skiffle groups. That Lonnie Donnigan was a right bad infuence and no mistake
Bart: Yes, I'm sure there was no bribery.

The Owl Wood: They are also a source of nourishment, but perhaps your memory doesn't go back far enough to remember Wet Nursie. The breast hotspot in California is Beverly Hills.

Crawler: Keep working on it, my friend.

Carol: Thank you, Carol. I am touched that you retain affection for the old nit.

DFTP: Ah yes! My old man's a dustman, he smoked a lot of pot.
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