Friday, May 27, 2011
A treat for film buffs?
The manager of the safari camp is thrilled at the news that Jennifer Aniston will appear topless in her next movie.
“She wouldn’t be doing it unless her melons were in great shape!” he exclaimed. “I bet they’re ripe and ready for plucking!”
“That would be quite an achievement for a 42-year-old woman,” I remarked. “Could they really be so different from the many melons you’ve ogled on the internet?”
“That’s not the point!” he insisted. “You never forget a famous pair of titties. I can still picture Jamie-Lee Curtis pulling off her sweater in that movie where she pulled off her sweater.”
“Miss Curtis would surely be delighted that her acting made such an impression on you,” I replied sardonically. “It’s a pity there isn’t a titty Oscar.”
“Damn right!” agreed the manager. “They’d have to share it, though. You couldn’t give it to one boob and make the other one jealous.”
“Why not give each boob its own one?” I suggested.
“That’s just crazy talk!” he sneered. “They obviously work as a team.”
I told the manager he had no equal in the etiquette of bosom appreciation and left him to his daydreams.
I wonder what prompted Miss Aniston to let her puppies pose for the camera. Could she be worried that her image is too goody-goody, like Julie Andrews? On the whole, I think it’s a sign of desperation when a famous actress bares her breasts in anything other than a French film. The French, being French, know how to integrate the female bosom with dialogue and plot in an entirely naturalistic way – you never feel like a peeping tom when a pert pair of dumplings appears in their movies. In a Hollywood flick, by contrast, the boob shot is obviously a scrap of meat thrown to the hounds.
I will now make a controversial statement that most men will find ludicrous to the point of absurdity: there are more interesting things on a woman than her breasts. I’m thinking particularly of her nose. Smalls ones are supposed to be cute and feminine, yet long pointy ones are far more intriguing. Miss Aniston should reflect on the fact that Meryl Streep has never once exposed her bust in a movie. People are too interested in her face to wonder what her jahoobies look like.
I am glad to note that some humans share my peculiar fascination. The organisers of the Long Nose World Championship, to be held next month in Germany, are still looking for promising candidates to compete in their “snoot out”. Unfortunately, women from really long-nosed nations, like Armenia and Moldova, are reluctant to participate for fear of damaging their marital prospects. This is a great shame. I’m sure there are many single men who would love to have their nerve-endings nuzzled by a long-nosed wife. "If you've got it, poke it!" would be an apt slogan for such ladies.
Maybe they need an organisation based on the gay rights movement which encourages them to take pride in their noses. I would volunteer to help with the publicity if they allowed me to tweak a few beaky ones.
Labels: jahoobies, Jennifer Aniston, Noses
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Breast is best. You never have to wipe jahoobies clean of snot before kissing them. Well... not unless the kisser has some kind of weird breast allergy.
I didn't catch what the first place contestant would receive in this Nose Championship...Will it include a life time supply of Puffs tissue? A nose hair trimmer? Will there be a talent contest involved in the finale decision... inquiring minds need to know.
i like your take on the french films, - me on the otherhand, i can't understand a word they are saying so i just gawk at the tits!.
# posted by 
: Thursday, May 26, 2011
: Thursday, May 26, 2011
Is that a toilet seat they're using to measure her nose?
I'd prefer to look at Jennifer's breasts than a long nose but to each their own.
xoRobyn
I'd prefer to look at Jennifer's breasts than a long nose but to each their own.
xoRobyn
The kind of competitions that ppl come up with...although I'll never qualify for a long nose competition.
I'm sorry I have to go back and read this post when you mentione Jennifer Aniston topless I had to go to my happy place where Jennifer Aniston isin't just topless but serving me beer
Emma: I just love a woman who checks out my links! May I touch your nose? I think the first prize is a snuff box with a Vicks Inhaler for runner-up.
Steve: Noses aren't for kissing, you puckersnout! I suggest you get a sex education lesson from an anteater!
dull boy: You don't bother reading the subtitles then? They can be very distracting, it's true.
Robyn: It appears to be a chin rest, Robyn, but it may well have been a toilet seat in a previous life. I think you're entitled look at Jennifer's boobs, she'd surely return the compliment if you met.
Jaya: Ah yes, you've got a small cute one! Has a man ever complimented you about your nose?
The Wolf: You mean you don't want to see her topless? Is it her personality or are you worried about what you would see?
Steve: Noses aren't for kissing, you puckersnout! I suggest you get a sex education lesson from an anteater!
dull boy: You don't bother reading the subtitles then? They can be very distracting, it's true.
Robyn: It appears to be a chin rest, Robyn, but it may well have been a toilet seat in a previous life. I think you're entitled look at Jennifer's boobs, she'd surely return the compliment if you met.
Jaya: Ah yes, you've got a small cute one! Has a man ever complimented you about your nose?
The Wolf: You mean you don't want to see her topless? Is it her personality or are you worried about what you would see?
I like Jennifer Aniston Mr. GB. I think she's uber-hot for her age. And she likes to walk around on Oxford Street.
All this nose talk and I can't help wondering what Josef Dewold does with his five inches.
All this nose talk and I can't help wondering what Josef Dewold does with his five inches.
i think ms anistion realizes the clock is ticking on those tits. she's no spring chicken anymore and her elasticity will soon be a thing of the past.
"You never forget a famous pair of titties. I can still picture Jamie-Lee Curtis pulling off her sweater in that movie where she pulled off her sweater. "
LOL!
And I agree that there are better things than breasts, such as a nice round rump, or sexy feet...some ladies have very beautiful pedicured feet. And how can anyone overlook a large defined shnoz?! They are perfect for
sitting upon. Why, women with generously endowed noses always get me going. If it's acceptable for men to have large noses: like Cyrano de Bergerac, Gerard Depardieu, or Adrien Brody as examples - then why not women?
Ms. Aniston has a particularly prominent and unique nose, but it is not nearly big enough for my taste. If she truly wanted to do something groundbreaking, she would show off her feet, and/or let the leading man sit upon her snout. Cheerio, Bananas!
LOL!
And I agree that there are better things than breasts, such as a nice round rump, or sexy feet...some ladies have very beautiful pedicured feet. And how can anyone overlook a large defined shnoz?! They are perfect for
sitting upon. Why, women with generously endowed noses always get me going. If it's acceptable for men to have large noses: like Cyrano de Bergerac, Gerard Depardieu, or Adrien Brody as examples - then why not women?
Ms. Aniston has a particularly prominent and unique nose, but it is not nearly big enough for my taste. If she truly wanted to do something groundbreaking, she would show off her feet, and/or let the leading man sit upon her snout. Cheerio, Bananas!
When it comes to noses you just can't beat Zoe Wanamaker but ask any bloke that given the choice of Zoe's nose or Zoe's breasts I'm afraid that the nose has no chance.
I suppose that only a species that has invented clothing can also invent page three girls and find the prospect of Jennifer "getting her tits out for the lads" exciting or newsworthy. I suspect that for all your contact with humans you'll never really understand mankind's (and I mean MAN) view of pornography; it runs at a far deeper level then intellect.
Jobrag
I suppose that only a species that has invented clothing can also invent page three girls and find the prospect of Jennifer "getting her tits out for the lads" exciting or newsworthy. I suspect that for all your contact with humans you'll never really understand mankind's (and I mean MAN) view of pornography; it runs at a far deeper level then intellect.
Jobrag
# posted by : Saturday, May 28, 2011
: Saturday, May 28, 2011
Emma: I'll make sure my fingers are warm.
Jaya: I'm sure a lot of women wish they had one like yours.
Azra: I like her too, Miss Azra, although her nose is no more than average. I'm sure Mr Dewold is an accomplished nuzzler.
Billy: That's the first time I've heard the "Use 'em or lose 'em" concept applied to breasts.
Lady Daphne: I see what you're getting at, milady, but the racial aspect seems too ludicrous even for the Nazis.
Jobrag: Men love breasts, it's true, but that shouldn't stop them appreciating other things. There's no point having a 5-course meal if you can only savour one dish.
Missed periods: I keep my fetishes well hidden, Miss Teacher... until I want to reveal them.
Jaya: I'm sure a lot of women wish they had one like yours.
Azra: I like her too, Miss Azra, although her nose is no more than average. I'm sure Mr Dewold is an accomplished nuzzler.
Billy: That's the first time I've heard the "Use 'em or lose 'em" concept applied to breasts.
Lady Daphne: I see what you're getting at, milady, but the racial aspect seems too ludicrous even for the Nazis.
Jobrag: Men love breasts, it's true, but that shouldn't stop them appreciating other things. There's no point having a 5-course meal if you can only savour one dish.
Missed periods: I keep my fetishes well hidden, Miss Teacher... until I want to reveal them.
“You never forget a famous pair of titties. I can still picture Jamie-Lee Curtis pulling off her sweater in that movie where she pulled off her sweater.”
LOL!
I agree that there are much more interesting things on women than breasts - such as a nice round rump, or sexy feet. Some ladies have exceptionally beautiful and well pedicured feet.
And how can anyone overlook a large defined shnoz? They are perfect for sitting upon. Why, women with generously endowed snouts always get me going. If it's acceptable for men to have large noses, like Cyrano de Bergerac, Gerard Depardieu, or Adrien Brody as examples - then why not women too?
Ms. Aniston has a particularly unique nose, but it is not nearly big enough for my taste. If she truly wanted to do something groundbreaking, she would show off her feet, and let the leading man sit on her face. Cheerio, Bananas!
LOL!
I agree that there are much more interesting things on women than breasts - such as a nice round rump, or sexy feet. Some ladies have exceptionally beautiful and well pedicured feet.
And how can anyone overlook a large defined shnoz? They are perfect for sitting upon. Why, women with generously endowed snouts always get me going. If it's acceptable for men to have large noses, like Cyrano de Bergerac, Gerard Depardieu, or Adrien Brody as examples - then why not women too?
Ms. Aniston has a particularly unique nose, but it is not nearly big enough for my taste. If she truly wanted to do something groundbreaking, she would show off her feet, and let the leading man sit on her face. Cheerio, Bananas!
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
tittyyyy oscar!
boobs working as a team? LOL
Was trolling around, this is such a brilliant blog!
tittyyyy oscar!
boobs working as a team? LOL
Was trolling around, this is such a brilliant blog!
I feel l must also add a tribute to the nasally well-endowed men in this world. Alan Rickman and Gerard Depardieu, l salute you and your sizeable appendages.
I agree with you GB. An actor of Jennifer Aniston's - I hestiate to say 'advancing years' - perhaps, more mature, should be well over the 'have to show my breasts' stage of her career. It smacks of a cry for help. For, if she does reveal all, where will she go from here?
Jenifer Aniston is beautiful but not interesting. There’s something that’s just boring or pedestrian about her, and I’d guess that her breasts would fall into the same category. Put me in camp Angie all day!
I don't trust people with small noses.
And I don't trust chicks with big boobies.
Let me rephrase that: I don't trust myself around girls with big boobies.
And I don't trust chicks with big boobies.
Let me rephrase that: I don't trust myself around girls with big boobies.
Bschooled: That's a very clever slogan, but it might be a little too boastful. A lot of men are scared of being poked!
Static: Sitting on a woman's face would be both unmanly and ungentlemanly. You've got to let the woman nuzzle rather than suffocating her.
Peachy: Thank you, Ms Peachyyy, I hope you'll continue to troll.
Number 11: Yes, indeed, there's no shortage of women who find big-nosed men sexy. Maybe Geoffrey Rush should be added to your list.
Tennyson: I suspect she just wanted to try something different, but novelty can denigrate as well as elevate. I hope she doesn't live to regret it.
Scott: Camp Angie? Do you mean Angie Dickinson? She was a fine-looking woman in her prime, there's no argument about that.
Dr Ken: Does that mean chicks with big noses and small boobs are likeable and trustworthy? I can't believe that's what you really think.
Static: Sitting on a woman's face would be both unmanly and ungentlemanly. You've got to let the woman nuzzle rather than suffocating her.
Peachy: Thank you, Ms Peachyyy, I hope you'll continue to troll.
Number 11: Yes, indeed, there's no shortage of women who find big-nosed men sexy. Maybe Geoffrey Rush should be added to your list.
Tennyson: I suspect she just wanted to try something different, but novelty can denigrate as well as elevate. I hope she doesn't live to regret it.
Scott: Camp Angie? Do you mean Angie Dickinson? She was a fine-looking woman in her prime, there's no argument about that.
Dr Ken: Does that mean chicks with big noses and small boobs are likeable and trustworthy? I can't believe that's what you really think.
Personally, I like that you find other parts of a women more intriguing than the vast majority of men. It's endearing, GB. :)
No, people with small noses are shifty. Girls with big boobies can be trustworthy or evil, but I don't trust myself to judge their character if they have big boobies because it clouds my otherwise sound judgement.
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