Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Playboy's comedy venture

Playboy are setting up a new website based on comedy rather than naked girls. I wish them well, but I’m not convinced it will appeal to their loyal fans. Pictures of Hef stroking his pet raccoon would be hilarious enough to the right audience, but men who click on a Playboy site have other things on their mind. 

Combining comedy and sex is a stiff challenge for the most fertile minds. The best example I can remember was Mr Dickface, the comic book character with a penis where his nose should have been. The poor fellow couldn’t hide his erections, so women were constantly giggling at him, but a lot of them were secretly turned on as well. Eventually he got a steady girlfriend and made love to her using a snorkel to avoid suffocating. Sadly, the Dickface series had to be discontinued after Disney threatened to sue the publisher for plagiarising the Pinocchio concept. 

On a somewhat similar note, a man in Pennsylvania has robbed a bank wearing baggy clown pants and false breasts. Full marks to the fellow for trying to lighten the atmosphere and put everyone at ease, but people held up in banks aren’t usually in the mood for humour. Maybe his act would have gone down better if he’d held up a cosmetic surgery clinic instead and forced one of the doctors to examine his bogus boobs at gunpoint. Making the doctor declare they were superior to his own silicone creations might have got a few laughs. 

The busty bank robber reminds me of an incident in my circus days. We were discussing what costumes to wear at our end-of-season fancy dress party when one of the clowns announced he’d be putting on a pair of joke breasts for the event. The female acrobats expressed their strong disapproval. 

“What’s funny about a woman’s breasts, you sexist pig!” exclaimed one of them. 

The clown responded to this hostile question in the only way a clown can, by bending over, blowing an enormous raspberry, and wafting an imaginary fart in the direction of his inquisitor. It’s a good thing I was on hand to defuse the situation: 

“It is not the breasts, per se, which would be funny, ladies, but the presence of those succulent wonders of Nature on the torso of a buck-toothed ninny. It is the juxtaposition of the sublime and the grotesque that creates the humour.” 

The girls looked at me with a degree of scepticism. 

“I don’t care what position his juxta is in, it still wouldn’t be funny,” said one of them. 

However, I could see that my timely intervention had softened their opposition to the clown’s intended attire. He came to the party with fake titties puffed out, and no one did anything worse than snub him, which is a bearable insult for a clown. 

I can sense you’re curious about what I wore to that party. Some of you no doubt believe that a gorilla would not have required a costume. This would be an inaccurate and offensive supposition. If you must know, I went in the uniform of a Royal Navy officer, circa 1800, carrying a cat ‘o nine tails in my right hand to discourage impudent remarks.

Gorilla Bananas is taking a short vacation and will return on Monday 16th August.

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Enjoy the break. I hope the paparazzi don't track you down this time.
Is that your -uh- person, GB?
Have a wonderful vacation, and don't get into too much trouble.
GB may I see a photo of you in that outfit you just described?
Happy hols, GB.

By the way, did you consider offering your services to the females at London zoo who have been short of a silverback for a while? I see that they've drafted in some chap from Dublin to cover, but I can't believe that he can have the insight into life that you have gained.
MrB, will the women on the comedy channel be naked? And will they have all their bits intact? Im on a bit of a mission atm. Apparently, there is alot of airbrushing involved with naked women in pics and movies these days.

As to the image of you as a naval officer... Please could we re-enact the whole Officer and a Gentleman thing with you in a white US naval officer's outfit circa 1990?
Hef really pisses me off. He is hanging (literally) around women who are his GREAT granddaughter's age. He is missing a great opportunity to attest to the beauty of older women (Ok I'll say it: MILFs).

A shapely babe with gray hair and a walk that says "experience" is a huge turn on for me. Hef has rendered himself into a pitiful cliché.
Have a brilliant holiday!

Fake boobs need to have a comeback.
Frickin' Disney. I can't believe they threatened to sue over Mr. Dickface. Outrageous!

Any how...frankly, any position of the titties (fake or not) is just fine with me. May I borrow your gloves again?
Have a great Holiday mate, Can't wait to find out where you're garden variety Gorilla goes to these days.
Have a good trip, GB. The keys to my offshore island are under the charlady, if you need it again. There's SA in the fridge and bara brith mix in the dresser. Mrs Boyo left an aye-aye to keep you company.
Have a good time off. I have to tell you, your comment on my motorcycle helmet post the other day even made my husband wince, which NEVER happens. He's usually the one with the potty jokes. So props to you for that one. - G
Everytime i see a pixx of Hef with those girls i want to barf. There is absolutely NOTHING sexy about a geriatric with several hot (drugged and naive) girls!

Could we see a pixx of you in that suit luv???
"I don’t care what position his juxta is in,"--> hahaha!

How I've missed this whilst I was working! But only one more week end then I'll have all the time in the world again to read your blogs and write for myself! Have a lovely holiday, mr. bananas!
Enjoy the break and eat plenty of roughage. One can always do with a bit more rough in one's life.
I'd love to see you in that Royal Navy Officer¡s costume, Mr. Bananas. I never thought a gorilla would not have required a costume!

I hope you have a nice holiday. You will be missed until the 16th!
Thank you all for your good wishes. Tonight I shall be rubbing shoulders with The Cougar. All will be revealed on the 16th,
If I was in a bank and the robber was wearing baggy clown pants and fake breasts, I would have gone with him, ala Patty Hearst. Just saying. I'm into captors with a theme.

Have a lovely break.
I read that Playboy are shifting far less copies that in years gone by, I suppose because alot of men are whacking over easily accessible and free online pornography. Loaded magazine are also on the decline, and whilst I know the main reason for buying Playboy is to see naked women; in the past, may good journalists have written for them, including Hunter S Thompson.
I don't understand why some people think that you shouldn't need a costume, since you are an ape. The idea of a costume is to make one look different from his usual self. Since your usual self is a gorilla, in particular - Gorilla Bananas - you should either dress up as a different gorilla, or as some other species. A Royal Navy officer sounds like an excellent choice, and I, like some other of your readers, would certainly like to see the results.
Comedy? Whose bright idea was that?

Enjoy your break. Take lots of pictures and post them all when you get back.
I suppose Benny Hill sort of pulled it off but because while his sketches being chased by busty beauties were funny they weren't really much of a turn on I suppose because his persona was a bit too much creep wierdo...still I wish Hef well in his new venture
fake boobs on guys = always funny
I agree with Brutalism. Going out to get a pair right now..!
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