Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Robinson Crusoe: great human


Being marooned alone on an island would be a terrible fate for any social primate. A hairy ape might express his frustration by pissing in the ocean in a vain attempt to annoy the fish. Eventually, he might hammer his head against a tree trunk in boredom and despair. But Robinson Crusoe, although fully aware of and much saddened by his predicament, does not allow his spirit to be crushed. He uses the human desire for comfort to his advantage by busying himself with little tasks from which he derives a sense of achievement and purpose.

Although he does not mention it in his journal, it is barely conceivable that Crusoe could have gone without occasionally relieving his sexual tension. But we may concede this point without in any way accepting that such incidents had acquired the status of a cherished pastime, let alone a ruling passion. If a lower breed of human male had found himself in Crusoe’s position, one might imagine that his life would revolve around his daily wank. He would ration whatever lubricants he had salvaged from the shipwreck for use in his masturbatory activities. Tiring of self-abuse, the fauna and flora of the island would no doubt soon fall victim to his lust.

But Robinson Crusoe has a noble human trait: the ability to put the spiritual above the corporeal. He lives in a universe of hopes and dreams, rather than soaps and creams. When Man Friday emerges, his thoughts are of friendship with another human being rather than same-sex coupling. There is certainly no evidence that any kind of sexual activity occurred between them, and insinuations of this kind should be strongly resisted by those who honour the memory of Crusoe.

Lastly, we should note that when Crusoe is rescued he pulls together the threads of his old life without seeking celebrity or attempting to sell his story to a newspaper. A true alpha male does not prostitute the events of his life to the curiosity of the vulgar rabble. Instead, like Crusoe, he calmly puts his business affairs in order, while generously rewarding those who have helped him. He also delivers his enemies to the iron hand of justice, pending a fair trial and the hangman’s noose - may God have mercy on their souls.

I leave you with the Robinson Crusoe
theme music.

Comments:
A superb piece of work Mr Bananas.
 
I agree, and the music at the end is the icing on the cake, if you'll forgive the cliche. I've always wondered whether that lovely tune had a longer version than played at the start of the TV programme, but it seems not. Do you know anything more about it, Bananas?
 
Well as long as a crate of pot noodles washed up on the shore, I'm sure Tarzan wouldn't be short of a masturbatory sex aid.

While I think about it - hey Tarzan, why haven't you got a blog where I can insult you directly?
 
Thank you, gentle man and genial bird. I think there must be a longer version because further connecting melodies were played during the programme itself. More information is given in this
website.

Tarzan write his own blog, El Barbudo? That's a good one! I think he's more into pictures than words.
 
Looks like I've been taking a real hammering on this thread. When the cat's away the mice play, eh?

GB me old ape, words are good, pictures are better and actions are the best of all. That was more or less your own position if you go back to your very first post, but now it seems you've changed your tune to impress your new fans.

This post was good, by the way, but I preferred the one about nude sunbathing!
 
Tarzan, my loyal buddy, you're rapidly becoming a parody of yourself.
 
ALPHA MALE TEAM ATTACK!
(watch as they subsequently abuse one another with large robotic sausages)

Twist THE FRENCH BRAID HARDER, GORILLLLLLA!@
 
You've now become a cat, SafeT? I don't approve of all this picture-changing. How do I know you're not an imposter? Have you seen Harry the Horseman's blog? It's full of shifty commentators who are continually changing their identities.
 
Harry The Horse Had Very Long Hair.

Keep in mind I'm signing in to comment, not anonymous at all.
And besides, would anyone voluntarily assume ownership of THIS nose?
 
Actually....don't know Harry. Is he amusing?
 
You don't know Harry? I am shocked. He is the golden boy of the blogosphere, loved by millions of devoted fans. That's why he's at the top of the links I have listed.
 
Well, I'll have to follow the link. I liked the GoldenGirls, and I despise GoldenPalaceCasino.
Perhaps Harry will fall somewhere between the two in terms of impact upon my soul.
 
GB.I have been to Alexander Selkirks old stomping ground in Lower Largo,Fife,Scotland.If you had been there too you would understand why he 'got tae fuck' in the first place!!!
 
Zounds, m'lud, you've commented on a post that is over 5 years old! Are you saying the nature of his homeland affected his behaviour when marooned?
 
I thought he was a fictional character!! fucking Algerian schools I tell ya!!

This is a brilliant piece GB, I never considered the sexual side of any cast aways' life!!

Thought provoking indeed.
 
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