Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Dawkins honey trap
What happened was that Dicky attempted to board a flight with a pot of honey in his hand luggage. The pot was discovered in a search and confiscated on the grounds that it might have been used to make a bomb. This was obviously an overreaction. Dicky may be a scientist, but he knows next to nothing about explosives. If he tried to make a honey-bomb, he would struggle to get a fart noise out of it. Greatly cheesed off by the incident, he tweeted the following indignant message:
Bin Laden has won, in airports of the world every day. I had a little jar of honey, now thrown away by rule-bound dundridges. STUPID waste.
A lot of people then poured scorn on Dicky, pointing out that bin Laden was the instigator of more outrageous deeds than depriving an atheist of his honey. This loss, however regrettable, would not go down in the annals of jihad as a great victory over the infidel. Dicky attempted to justify himself in another truculent tweet, but no one was buying it. The stain of ignominy hung over his head like a purple toupee.
As an old friend of Dicky, I feel honour-bound to defend him. How would you like it if someone took your honey? Obtaining the heavenly syrup is no easy matter, because the bees who hoard it behave like maniacs if you nick some. The fear of being terrorised by those fanatical insects deters us gorillas from even trying to harvest wild honey. I get mine from a pot, like Dicky.
It follows that confiscating someone’s honey can be construed as a victory for bee terrorism. Bin Laden, to my knowledge, was never stung by a bee. He must have seen them as potential allies in his war against the West. I doubt any bees actually joined Al Qaeda, because most of them are female and would reject the idea of wearing a burka and playing second fiddle to the men. But tactical alliances between strange bedfellows can occur – never forget the Hitler-Stalin pact of 1939.
I don’t suppose my arguments will convince people who don’t like Dicky. A lot of his detractors will never forgive him for refuting their silly fairy tale about Adam and Eve. It’s clearly nonsense to suppose that the entire human race is descended from a pair of naked idiots who were deceived by a snake. Humans have inherited a natural wariness of those sly creatures from their ape ancestors, who never did anything on the advice of a serpent. Instead of sneering at Dicky for making an injudicious tweet, they should listen to his truthful words about the origins of humanity. And after doing that, they should grovel at his feet and sniff his toe-jam.
Labels: Adam and Eve, Bees, bin Laden, Dicky Dawkins, Honey, snakes
