Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Cleaning up her act
So it seems that Lady Gaga is going to censor her show for a concert scheduled in Dubai. Apparently some of her on-stage antics are too shocking and vulgar for the shy and sensitive folk over there. If I were a Lady Gaga fan living in Dubai, I’d be pinching my nipples in outrage. Fortunately I’m not, so I’m scratching my armpits in amusement.
Call me a naïve ape, but I honestly didn’t know there was anything risqué in a Lady Gaga concert. Now that I do know, I’m determined to discover what the silly floozy gets up to. According to one source, she likes to display her bare buttocks to her fans. I’ve seen too many baboons to find that shocking, but humans have a complex relationship with their bottoms. An accidental exposure isn’t usually offensive, but someone bending over and shaking their buns in your face is normally regarded as an insult. In Lady Gaga’s case, the issue is complicated by her creative impulse. I don’t think anyone should complain if she wiggles her rump to a well-chosen musical accompaniment. If you don’t like the performance, get out of the theatre.
Another source indicates that she likes to bare her breasts on stage. In my neck of the jungle that would be perfectly acceptable – the local humans would see it as paying homage to their ancient traditions. However, different cultural norms apply to titties in a desert society. Exposing them to the dry climate would cause them to wither and dehydrate, depleting the assets of the local sheikh, who might then have to barter one of his camels. If you live in a realm of scarcity, conservation of the booby stock is essential. Let’s hope Lady Gaga is aware of these cultural nuances and doesn’t provoke a ghazi to unsheathe his sword.
Should female performers be allowed to jiggle their jahoobies as a form of artistic expression? Personally I’m against it. I remember that awful scene in the The Graduate where Dustin Hoffman takes poor Katherine Ross to a strip club, and she is humiliated by a busty stripper who twirls her tassels in her face. Aggressive flaunting of the bosom is a form of intimidation not to be tolerated in any genre of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with incidental agitation, of course. A woman having a jog is all the more engaging if her boobies are bouncing up and down.
The actress Jessica Alba could give Lady Gaga a lesson in modesty. Jessica recently explained why she refuses to appear topless in any of her roles:
"I don’t want my grandparents to see my boobs," she told Glamour magazine.
It’s quite possible her grandparents would be proud of her breasts, but it’s equally likely they would feel shame or envy on seeing them. Jessica is absolutely right to play it safe. Will she show us her boobs when her grandparents have passed away? That is a question that should never be asked but often be contemplated.
Labels: buttocks, cultural sensitivity, grandparents, jahoobies, Jessica Alba, Lady Gaga
