Wednesday, May 31, 2017
In flagrante delicto
I can’t make up my mind whether to feel sorry for Viviana Ross (pictured above), a hotel waitress who got fired after being found naked in a client’s bed. The client in question was a minor English film star called Orlando Bloom, who had invited Viviana to share his bed, so no one can accuse her of trespassing. In fact, she did everything possible to ensure full customer satisfaction. It was obviously wrong to give her the sack for getting into the sack with Bloom, but my bosom is struggling to feel any righteous indignation on her behalf. You can call me a heartless old ape, but that’s just the way it is.
The problem is that this doesn’t seem like your typical case of unfair dismissal. There are a number of unusual features, most of which relate to Viviana herself. First of all, she has accepted her fate with remarkable equanimity, saying she had no regrets about sacrificing her job for “a night of incredible sex”. She has also complimented Bloom on being “an exceptionally good lover”, describing his body as “very good”. Yet she has refused to sell her story to a tabloid, which made me wonder whether she had fallen in love with the blighter. But no, it’s not that romantic. The small print in the story indicates that Viviana is not the humble waitress she appears to be. She is described as an “aspiring actress” who has posted many nude pictures of herself on-line. The only logical conclusion is that she wanted to get caught having sex with Bloom to get thrust into the limelight.
Will Bloom, after being so royally serviced and showered with compliments, now use his influence to further her career? It’s the least he could do in the circumstances, but I’m doubtful it’s going to happen for Viviana. For one thing, it’s far from clear that Bloom has any influence with bigwig movie producers. He finds it difficult enough to get good roles for himself, let alone obtain parts for the women he's bedded. And he’s also conceited enough to believe Viviana’s flattery, thus reckoning she’s already been amply rewarded for her pains.
The sad truth is that Viviana picked the wrong actor to have sex with. She may not realise that now, but it’s going to become apparent in the near future. If she had slept with a gallant old warhorse like Jack Nicholson or Antonio Banderas, they would have moved mountains to get her a starring role in an art-house nudie pic or soft porn flick. But Orlando Bloom is a mere pipsqueak in the movie industry. He couldn’t get her a job as a fluffer. In this respect, human society is not so different from the ape world. A young female looking for favours has to be very careful about which males she allows to mount her. If she mates with a young dandy instead of the alpha, she’s not going to improve her social rank.
Labels: aspiring actress, beta males, Orlando Bloom, unfair dismissal
Comments:
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Do you think she could get me a job as a hotel waiter?
I mean, I'm willing to do the time to get on her good side.
I mean, I'm willing to do the time to get on her good side.
I could use my influence to get her a job at the local Subway. Maybe some hopelessly lost Hollywood director would discover her schlepping sandwiches and let her do his laundry. Hey, it's a start.
she could have picked a better sex conquest...like colin firth (swoon!). bloom has slept around too much.
getting fired and all the publicity might be the best thing that has happened to the young maiden. could this have been the plan all along?
What she does on her own time is her own business. Plus, look at that physique. Who could resist, man or woman? He gave her the aul Legolas Jr. and it cost her a waitress job. Plenty more where they came from. I've never had a woman proclaim in the news that I was an adequate lover. Color me jealous. Or, colour, if you insist.
How is it you know the term 'fluffer?'
All the best news is reported here.
How is it you know the term 'fluffer?'
All the best news is reported here.
Well, isn't that just blooming typical.
Orlando is looking a bit rough. I hope she stole his wallet at least. She seems a little naive. You'd think looking like that, she'd have developed a little more sass but what do I know?
Orlando is looking a bit rough. I hope she stole his wallet at least. She seems a little naive. You'd think looking like that, she'd have developed a little more sass but what do I know?
Even though she may have had ulterior motives as suggested, it still does not seem appropriate that she was fired for sleeping with a customer. She should have the right to allow any fellow to "scratch her itch" that she fancies and can convince to do so. I would assume in her role as hostess, it would have been viewed positively by the client (Bloom) and likely left him feeling even more pleased about the resturaunt' willingness to serve than did the food alone, so the Reaturaunt would have come out poisitively in the transaction.
"...sex with Bloom to get thrust into the limelight."
'Sex' and 'thrust' in the same sentence.
Nicely done, if intentional.
And nicely done, if accidental.
'Sex' and 'thrust' in the same sentence.
Nicely done, if intentional.
And nicely done, if accidental.
Harry Hamid: Do you have good references? What dishes can you serve?
Jono: I'm sure she would be touched by your offer... and possibly by the Hollywood director as well.
Anne Marie: Do you know how many women Colin Firth has slept with, Anne Marie? Me neither!
Mr Rosewater: Yes, I believe she wanted to get caught. Why else would she spend the morning lying naked in his bed?
Exile: I wonder if a man could pay a prostitute to tell everyone he was a good lover. It might be better than having sex with her!
Jules: There's a cunning in her naivety, Jules. She's Romanian, like Dracula!
Pipe Tobacco: Your judgements are as wise as ever, Professor. Perhaps the hotel was worried about being seen as a high class brothel.
Al: Didn't Captain Kirk ask Scotty for more thrust? It never made me think about sex until now!
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Jono: I'm sure she would be touched by your offer... and possibly by the Hollywood director as well.
Anne Marie: Do you know how many women Colin Firth has slept with, Anne Marie? Me neither!
Mr Rosewater: Yes, I believe she wanted to get caught. Why else would she spend the morning lying naked in his bed?
Exile: I wonder if a man could pay a prostitute to tell everyone he was a good lover. It might be better than having sex with her!
Jules: There's a cunning in her naivety, Jules. She's Romanian, like Dracula!
Pipe Tobacco: Your judgements are as wise as ever, Professor. Perhaps the hotel was worried about being seen as a high class brothel.
Al: Didn't Captain Kirk ask Scotty for more thrust? It never made me think about sex until now!
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