Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Foot in mouth


The young lady pictured above is Miss Erin Clark, a 19-year-old student from Edinburgh, about to start her degree at the Institute of Political Studies in Paris. After searching vainly for affordable accommodation, she was delighted to receive a twitter message offering her an apartment in a highly suitable location:

“So, it’s a big studio flat with two beds, kitchen, toilets, a big wardrobe and a balcony,” explained the owner.

All was not as it seemed, however. The prospective landlord revealed that he would be living in the same property. Furthermore, he would require Miss Clark to perform some unusual services instead of paying rent:

“I’m submissive and I’ve got a foot fetish, so it would be free in term of money, but I’m asking for two services, licking your feet sometimes. And then, I wear a chastity device, you might wear the key of the chastity in a bracelet, so I’m not looking for sex, I’ve got the device.”

Offering Miss Clark the key to the “chastity device” seems to be a confidence-building measure, even thought the landlord himself regards the prospect with some kind of weird satisfaction. But she was not sufficiently reassured by this safeguard, making her excuses in the following tweet:

“I’ve lost my flat keys 4 times since September alone, it is not me you are wanting.”

I don’t blame Miss Clark for being sceptical. I have never seen a male chastity belt and don’t see how it would work effectively without also preventing the wearer from urinating. The possibility of the key is being mislaid is real, so it’s highly likely the landlord would retain a spare to liberate his organ when the need arose. This, of course, would render it ineffective as a safeguard.

It’s also hard to believe he would have stuck to the letter of the agreement in other respects. I think we can take it as read that “foot-licking” includes a full range of podo-erotic practices including toe-sucking. Once you let someone smooch your foot, it could easily progress to the ankle or even the knee. There’s no telling where it would end.

When I told the manager of the safari camp about this story, he laughed and rubbed his hands in glee.

“Hah, the French!” he snorted. “Trust them to proposition students with their kinky fetishes! I bet he would have smeared her feet with garlic butter and licked it off with a glass of red wine!”

“I never knew you were so knowledgeable about their culinary practices,” I remarked. “Perhaps you should write a gourmet guidebook for the novice.”

I don’t know whether it’s true that the French are more open about their fetishes, but it doesn’t reflect badly on them if they are. Miss Clark is lucky to have been approached by an honest pervert who attempted to negotiate a quid-pro-quo. A Scottish or English foot-licker might have charged her full rent without disclosing anything, hoping to ambush her feet at a vulnerable moment. It’s the sneaky types that do the most damage. 

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Comments:
WTF? be glad you are an ape; people are strange mofos.
 
I probably should be embarrassed that I fixated on the picture instead of immediately reading.
I'D lick her feet.
At a minimum.
 
I never understood the fascination with feet. Aren't they just supposed to keep your legs from fraying at the ends?
 
There was a dude in Tennessee who was stopped for drunk driving. He was wearing a tutu and a male chastity belt.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3634063/Man-arrested-drunk-driving-wearing-chastity-belt-locked-penis.html
 
Well, with her jabooies I'm sure she gets the offers!!! When I was a young gay and moved out to get my own apartment, I looked at one place. The guy was a much older gay then I. He told me the rent wasn't 550, but if I had sex with him and his partner monthly, it would be rent free. Thank goodness I had a job Gorilla, lord know where I'd be now........
 
I am, seriously, so happy I am not cursed with a fetish. Isn't life hard enough? Isn't it hard enough to find love without throwing a specialty on top of it? And stinky feet! Sweet Jeebus! I know it could be worse. You could be one of those poor sods who like to get kicked in the nuts. But it's still a terrible inconvenience.
 
Thank goodness people like this can reach out on the internet to find like-minded souls instead of like in the old days, when they just had to hide in the bushes and jump out at people.
 
i have a few empty bedrooms so this is very interesting to me.
 
Anne Marie: So you've never had your foot licked, Anne Marie? It's more normal for humans than apes. :)

Al: I wish I could send her to you. I suspect she find older guys funny.

Jono: Feet are actually modified hands. Only human primates use them solely for walking. I can grab a pair of maracas with my feet.

Pop Tart: Marvelous, Ms Pop Tart! How come you linked a British newspaper? Don't American papers cover these stories?

Mistress Maddie: You escaped the fate of a catamite, Mistress! It's a job far below your exalted status!

Exile: Well it's not all bad. Having a fetish can keep you interested when other men are losing their libido.

Harry: That's very true. It was all based on word of mouth before the internet. Or phone numbers scrawled in public toilets.

Billy: I hope you find a way of putting your idle assets to work.
 
I'm confused, GB. How can she stretch and reach her feet beyond those jahoobies?
 
I mean, a free stay? That would save her a bundle. And she doesn't have to really DO anything. Just get her toes sucked every so often. BUT, if that were my daughter, fuck no.

My perspective totally shifts as a parent.
 
The only foot fetisheses (is that the correct plural form?) I've ever met were American, father and son. Neither knew of the other. But yes, I do have lovely feet. And since then I do not wear open-toed sandals in public... or open-breasted shirts for that matter, not even for accommodation.
 
I dunno. A free apartment in exchange for a few foot licking sessions and keeping the key to a chastity belt. I've seen a few male chastity cages and they can still urinate. I guess he'd need to search out a dominatrix for his apartment.
 
Blimey, you wouldn’t miss her coming down the street, would ya!

…and a balcony….*snort*

Well, she’s landed on her feet, so to speak. Free pedicures after a hard day, the key to a man’s heart (semantics) and free rent. I’d say that’s a total win. If she doesn’t want it, I’m in.

 
Sir:

While I have trouble understanding foot fetishes (or any fetish, I guess) and also male chastity belts.... since it appears there are such things, and in regards to the chastity belt, the male may urinate through them.... if the female is financially strapped enough, the foot fetish thing may be a tolerable situation for the financial security she may accrue.

My questions concern the chastity belt, however. If the male indulges in his foot fetish, I would presume he would become aroused. For the life of me I cannot imagine how a chastity belt would accommodate a male in both the smaller flaccid state and in the larger, aroused state. I cannot imagine anything except for discomfort in either situation for the male.

A far as your earlier comment about picking up maracas with your feet... it seems that I have perhaps some significant non-human primate genes (or at least a significant proportion of neanderthal genes) as I am fairly adept (especially for a grey-bearded, old codger) at picking up things with my feet as well. Pencils and pens are fairly easy, and I have even had success with a little bit of sloppy looking writing as well. Never tried maracas, but I have picked up a myriad of things with my feet instead of bending over... including the above mentioned writing utensils, paper, my pipe once when I dropped it on the beach, and other things as well.

By chance, have you seen any of the various "Planet of the Apes" films? All 10 or so films (several from the 60s and 70s, one in 2001, and three recent ones) are, to my manner of thinking, excellent! I consider them all amongst the best of science fiction films. I am a bit biased, however, and feel the earliest ones offer the best philosophical and psychological perspectives on life.
 
I had a friend who had a "foot fetish." He just liked to tickle the girls feet. Landlord might be a good career move for him.
 
Looking at the photo one wonders why the landlord mentioned feet! Nowt as queer as folk, some say. Vive lá difference
 
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