Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Tasting the spice

The Spice Girls have admitted that they used to kiss each other “once in a while”.

“Because of what we went through together, there's a bond that no one else understands,” explained Emma Bunton.

I think we can take it as read that it was mouth-to-mouth kissing with probing tongues. It wouldn’t be much of a confession if they were giving each other an affectionate peck on the cheek.

I don’t know how their fans will react to this revelation, but it all sounds completely natural to me. They were young, passionate women with pumping hormones, sharing hotel suites and borrowing each other’s toiletries. Their close camaraderie was bound to spill over into something more intimate in moments of high emotion. And don’t forget all the dancing they did together, shaking their booties in perfect synchrony. It could only have stimulated their mutual attraction.

Having admitted to kissing in private, should they now do it in public? The reunion concert planned for next year would be an idea venue for a spicy exhibition of smooching. When I asked the manager of the safari camp for his opinion, his answer was unequivocal.

“Of course they should do it!” he declared. “They’ve created the expectation, so now they’ve got to follow through. No one likes performers who are all talk and no action.”

“Which pair would you like to see press lips?” I asked.

“They should take it in turns to snog Baby Spice,” he replied. “Make her blush and pant for breath.”

“That sounds disturbingly similar to a ‘gang bang’ scenario,” I remarked. “Maybe you should browse for a suitable movie instead.”

In truth, I don’t really want to see them kissing on stage. Madonna and Britney Spears did that many moons ago and it wasn’t at all erotic. It never is when it’s done purely for show. In an ideal world you’d want to watch the Spice Girls kissing in a private, intimate setting, but if you did that you’d be a Peeping Tom. It’s depressingly difficult to enjoy the simple pleasure of voyeurism in a decent and wholesome way.

It goes without saying that the Spice Girls don’t have to kiss each other to remain popular. I can think of very few musical acts in which kissing was an essential part of the entertainment. Did Sonny and Cher kiss after singing I Got You, Babe? I’m not convinced that they did, even though it would have been artistically justified. And what would it have proved anyway? They soon got divorced after their double-act lost its appeal.

That reminds me of another thing I admire about the Spice Girls – they never got bitchy with each other after they parted company. I’m pretty sure Cher insulted Sony Bono after he got into politics, implying that he was a midget who was useless in bed. It was an ugly slur against real midgets, who are often as good in bed as people twice their size.

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A lot of girls kiss each other. lol So it really doesn't surprise me.
I have never kissed another woman; not my thing!
Women kissing each other should involve real feeling and not just for appearance's sake.
Did Cher really say that Sonny was shitty in bed? That's terrible. I bet he gave her the best mustache ride of the 1970's, but she was just too much of a B to admit how good he really was.

As for the Spice Girls, it's clear there was some smooching between them when they had that dating policy about having to get with their friends. That always sounded to me like if you were banging one, you had to bang all of them, which seems like a win-win.
Spicy. I suppose if they're snogging each other it stops them from singing.
I've had some girlie kisses by men, and the Spice Girls are pretty hot. I wouldn't mind some smooching with Shorty Spice. I don't know which one she is, or if there is a Shorty Spice (I think so), but I'm just thinking about my neck.
Mary: Do they kiss on the lips, Mary? Where is all this kissing going on?

Anne Marie: Suppose you were in love with another woman? Wouldn't you do it then?

Pop Tart: Yes, exactly, Ms Pop Tart. The Spice Girls had real feelings for each other, but unfortunately we never saw them kiss.

Dr Ken: I think she said it more than once, Dr Ken, but only an old timer like Penwasser would know for sure. I never knew the Spice Girls had such a dating policy - are you sure it isn't something you dreamt?

Jules: That's a very unpatriotic remark, Jules! What will all the Americans here think?

Robyn: Ginger looks like the shortest one, Robyn, but I doubt she'd be level with your neck. If you lied down together on a couch it wouldn't matter who was taller. I'm glad you appreciate the hotness of other women. ;) ;)

there's a carpet joke in there somewhere but i wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of posh.
What's with that puss on Victoria Beckham? Seriously, what's she got to be all pissy about? Her life is pretty sweet. My least favorite SG.

But I *would* like to see them kiss. Might be as sexless as Madge and Brittany but it might not.
My fave Spice Girl is Posh.
Gorilla: You don't remember the song lyric? "If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends." I always assumed that meant you had to get down with ALL the Spice Girls and not just one. That's how interpreted it, anyway.
All I had to do was read the first sentence and I needed a shower.
Mr Rosewater: You should worry more about Scary. Victoria probably wouldn't understand your quip.

Exile: She likes making pouty faces. She thinks it makes her look sexy rather than sulky. I'm glad you admit you'd like to see them kiss. We need more of that kind of honesty in today's world. :)

Miss Princess: Do you like her dresses, Miss Princess?

Dr Ken: You have a talent for interpretation, Dr Ken. I'd always thought that meant you had to be nice to their friends, but now I can see you're right. Failure of imagination on my part. :)

Al: I'm glad there are sentences that still have that effect on you. Who do you want to shower with?
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