Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Wilhelmina Witchiepoo: great human
Are witches too ugly to be great? Judging by appearance is the deepest of all human prejudices and the hardest one for the naked ape to overcome. That’s why it better to leave such evaluations to your hairy cousins, who can be fair to everyone because they find all humans ugly.Miss Wilhelmina Witchiepoo lives in an elevated castle on an enchanted island populated by the most insipid bunch of animals you could ever wish to see. They are terrified of her, and with good reason, for she could zap them all to smithereens with a few well-aimed of wafts of her wand. Yet she is surprisingly lenient, even allowing them to elect their own mayor, a gutless dragon named H. R. Pufnstuf, who might have inspired the character Forrest Gump. Although taking no liberties – and occasionally turning one of these boobs into a frog – she is generally content to let the animals potter about in their goofy way.
For Miss Witchiepoo has other worries. Boss Witch is continually on the phone, pestering her about the programme for the next witches’ convention and demanding sensational exhibits worthy of the occasion. Furthermore her rival, Witch Hazel, a talented singer, is threatening to upstage her by performing a new number written specially for the event. Miss Witchiepoo is under considerable stress but – lovable harpie that she is – does not allow this to dampen her natural effervescence. She rushes around her castle like a cackling hen, insulting her subordinates with gusto, and generally cracking jokes and hamming it up to the nth degree.
The twist in the plot comes when a chirpy cockney lad named Jimmy mysteriously arrives on the island with Freddie the talking flute. When Witchiepoo sees Freddie she knows that she simply must have him for the convention, just as the wife of a millionaire knows that she must have the latest designer dress. She could certainly provide a good home for the flute, but the pathetic little tooter makes a fuss and begs Jimmy to hide him from the evil witch. Being a tender-hearted tyke, Jimmy agrees to do so, and the animals unwisely agree to help him in this endeavour. This inevitably sours their already edgy relationship with Miss Witchiepoo, who is goaded into various depredations, some of which are directed against Mayor Pufnstuf.
As you might have guessed, Witchiepoo does not succeed in her efforts to acquire the flute and is a flop at the witches’ convention. As well being ridiculed by her sister witches, she must endure the humiliation of defeat at the hands of Jimmy & Co. Yet although she is a loser, she loses in great style, delivering splendid one-liners to the bitter end. This is a great human virtue possessed by only a few of your species – the ability to retain the essence of one’s character in the most trying of circumstances. Miss Wilhelmina W Witchiepoo was born to entertain, and whatever the setbacks and catastrophes, the show must go on.
I leave you with a compilation of sound bites and songs from the enchanted island. I would urge you to listen to the song “Different”, as performed by Witch Hazel during the convention. This was an inspiring anthem for a young gorilla growing up in human society and still moves me today.
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I've got to admit I don't remember this one, GB. You've got a memory like an elephant for children's TV. It sounds good enough to consider getting a DVD for my kids, if one exists. But regarding the title of your post, are witches human technically?
You speak about Witchiepoo with great knowledge, the kind of indepth understanding that comes from one who has sat through every episode with their chidren. My own experiences with the Teletubbies leads me to wonder if you are indeed a father, in which case how many kids do you have Mr Bananas?
I remember it. It was an American show called 'H.R. Pufnstuf' shown on British TV in the early 70s. I expect Mr Bananas was a child himself when he saw it. The boy Jimmy was played by Jack Wild, the English lad who played the Artful Dodger in Oliver.
As I recall, the witch was actually quite frightening for young children. Maybe those aged 12 and over would see her funny side. I think it would compare well with current children's TV.
What I don't remember is the Witch Hazel character or the song sung by Mama Cass given in the site linked at the end. I must have missed that episode. Pity.
As I recall, the witch was actually quite frightening for young children. Maybe those aged 12 and over would see her funny side. I think it would compare well with current children's TV.
What I don't remember is the Witch Hazel character or the song sung by Mama Cass given in the site linked at the end. I must have missed that episode. Pity.
Kim says: You speak about Witchiepoo with great knowledge
Not only that, he has been waging a one ape campaign to convert SafeTinspector. I wonder if he has stumbled on the rights to the DVDs or something. All is now clear. I am too young to remember it. Hurrah.
Not only that, he has been waging a one ape campaign to convert SafeTinspector. I wonder if he has stumbled on the rights to the DVDs or something. All is now clear. I am too young to remember it. Hurrah.
Of course witches are human Tarzan. Talk about the naricissism of minor difference. It's hard for a gorilla to distinguish between Witchiepoo and Cameron Diaz.
The plot I described is based on the film version of the TV series, where Witch Hazel sings her song at the witches' convention. I don't know much about the TV series, but the film is good entertainment for humans and apes of all ages.
The plot I described is based on the film version of the TV series, where Witch Hazel sings her song at the witches' convention. I don't know much about the TV series, but the film is good entertainment for humans and apes of all ages.
The scales have fallen from my eyes Mr G Bananas youeffingseaword ! A bell rang with Kim’s remarks earlier, but it was faint. You never gave Troy Tempest this much attention even though he could kick Witchiepoo’s skinny arse up and down the street. I put it to you, that either you, or a relative wrote the Witchiepoo stuff, and that you are therefore from a literary family you cheating b-word.
OR
You are JK Rowling having a laugh, in which case I want my 1 000 000 bucks. I kept you when you were on the dole in Edinburgh you scrounging ponce.
OR
You are JK Rowling having a laugh, in which case I want my 1 000 000 bucks. I kept you when you were on the dole in Edinburgh you scrounging ponce.
Years lader, a slightly older Jimmy was taken by Witchiepoo as a lover and confidant. So complete was his transformation from cute, helpful lad to boy toy of the amazing Witchiepoo that he singlehandedly slaughtered a large portion of the island population and enslaved the remainder in the great Felt and Foam mines which littered the island landscape.
It never pays to gloss over the unseemly end-game of such stories, Gorilla, and this one had no happy ending.
It never pays to gloss over the unseemly end-game of such stories, Gorilla, and this one had no happy ending.
Dr Maroon: I wish I'd never mentioned Rolls-Royce. You've been looking for revenge ever since, snooping around like Sherlock Holmes with a giant magnifying glass. All I can do is give you my word of honour as a gorilla that there's but one ape holding the quill.
SafeT: Do you have any idea how blasphemous your conception sounds to fans of the show? If I were your mother I'd wash your mouth with soap and water.
SafeT: Do you have any idea how blasphemous your conception sounds to fans of the show? If I were your mother I'd wash your mouth with soap and water.
Well now, who said you were a multiple orgasm? I didn’t realise she was so close to your hairy breast. I think Whipsnade’s to blame for this. When he should have been filling your head with Jennings and Bulldog Drummond, I think he gave you a video of Witchiepoo to play with, with the resultant natural confusion. The man should be horsewhipped. As to RR, you’re the angler, but what you don’t know, ye dinna ken.
i live alone in my filth, and no amount of orally administered soap can cleanse me of the curse of the whistle-blower.
TWIST! LOAM! DUNG!
............these are my fates as those around me JUDGE me for OUTING Jimmy and his sexual depravity in banging Witchipoo mercilessly whilst manipulating her butt-plugs.
Oh, Odiferous Lasciviousness-forgive meeeeeee
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TWIST! LOAM! DUNG!
............these are my fates as those around me JUDGE me for OUTING Jimmy and his sexual depravity in banging Witchipoo mercilessly whilst manipulating her butt-plugs.
Oh, Odiferous Lasciviousness-forgive meeeeeee
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