Monday, October 17, 2005
So, so, suck my toe
In all my days in the jungle, I have never once received a report of an ape sucking the toe of another ape. Nor have I ever heard of an ape expressing a desire to participate in a toe-sucking, either on the giving or receiving end. Indeed, I can confidently assert that any ape who suggested such a thing would be hooted out of the jungle for being an absurd ass. Yet among humans, the practice seems to have become accepted as an exotic starter for the sexual gourmet. How can this be? Were sexual receptors somehow implanted in the toes on the evolutionary pathway leading to home sapiens? I’ll be damned if they were.The strange thing is that during my circus days I heard some children sing a rhyme about toe-sucking which suggests they had a pretty similar attitude to it as their hairy cousins. The joke was that if another child said “So?”, they would reply by chanting:
So, so, suck my toe
All the way to Mexico
Now it’s fairly obvious that this rhyme is not a precocious sexual invitation. The intent behind the statement is clearly to mock the targeted individual by urging him (or her) to perform a degrading act – all the way to Mexico, if necessary. There is no question of carnal pleasure for either party, although the suckee may take malicious delight in the humiliation of the sucker. I conclude that human infants instinctively find toe-sucking a ludicrous activity, as their hairy cousins do.
So how did this toe-sucking fad arise for adult humans? Well, I tried asking Dr Whipsnade, and he said it all started in the French vineyards, where peasants who had crushed grapes with their bare feet used to suck each others’ toes to avoid wasting the juice. But Larson Whipsnade is a British patriot, and I’m pretty sure that this was his idea of a joke on the two-hundredth anniversary of Trafalgar. I may be a gorilla, but I’m not a gullible gorilla.
A more likely theory is that it’s replacing some other habit that humans have to discard when they grow up. The sucking of lollipops comes to mind as a pastime which adult humans normally desist from on the advice of their dentists. As these white-coated sadists have the power to inflict torture with their drills, few of their victims have the courage to disobey their orders. The empty-mouthed humans then have to choose between sucking their thumbs and looking like babies, or sucking someone’s toes and joining the ranks of the sexually sophisticated. It’s not a difficult decision to make in the circumstances.
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Well, O Bearded One, you've hit on the exact reason why apes will never appreciate toe-sucking. No one in his right mind would want to suck something hairy. But if one of those cuties in the pictures asked a red-blooded man to suck her toe, I don't see how he could reasonably refuse.
And just in case anyone doubted your opposition to the shameful practice, you illustrate its absurdity with two photos, both involving a female toe in a female mouth. With opponents like you, Mr Bananas, the toe-suckers of the world have no need of support. Not if they're lesbians, anyway.
It's good to see we're back to porn, I was beginning to lose interest.
# posted by 
: Tuesday, October 18, 2005
: Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Now, I don't enjoy having my toes sucked. But, since they are nearly as hairy as yours presumably are, I doubt I'd have any takers in any case.
My wife finds that, if coupled with other activities, toe sucking enhances the sensations I'm inducing elsewhere on her person. Like MSG in a fine Chinese dish, so to speak.
While I don't enjoy the sucking of her toes so much, I enjoy the results enough to produce this activity con muy gusto, all the way to Mexico.
My wife finds that, if coupled with other activities, toe sucking enhances the sensations I'm inducing elsewhere on her person. Like MSG in a fine Chinese dish, so to speak.
While I don't enjoy the sucking of her toes so much, I enjoy the results enough to produce this activity con muy gusto, all the way to Mexico.
Toe-sucking plus, SafeT? You and your mate must be capable of some pretty impressive gymnastics. Or maybe you just have long arms for a human.
Unlike the pictures of the Italian, these ARE erotic for some reason. On the face of it, they are comic, and I’ve never sucked a toe nor had mine sucked, (though I have the feet of Saint Sebastian) yet their total is greater than the sum of their parts. I’m a little concerned for you searching through the mire for these images though. Be careful.
That SafeT, you’ve got to admire him. The man has balls of brass. Have you seen him selling that jacket? Worth the visit.
That SafeT, you’ve got to admire him. The man has balls of brass. Have you seen him selling that jacket? Worth the visit.
They aren't from a porn site if that's what you're suggesting, Dr M. I would never pay for pictures of human hanky-panky anyway. It's men like SafeT who make human sex research possible. He's a boon to science.
Ape: Use some imagination, and it is possible for an able-bodied non-athlete to produce the results I've intimated.
Dr. M: Yeah, and the jacket sold for a measley $25US. Meh! Philistines!
Dr. M: Yeah, and the jacket sold for a measley $25US. Meh! Philistines!
I was just having a discussion with my girlfriend the other day about the pleasures of toe sucking and she told me about a friend of hers who has the most amazing orgasms just from getting her toe sucked!
So me thinks i definitely want to try it out although it is pretty gross. Of course like every other sefish person, i would love to have my toes sucked, but NO WAY will i suck on someone else's toes...God knows where they've been
Would i still be allowed in your jungle?
;P
So me thinks i definitely want to try it out although it is pretty gross. Of course like every other sefish person, i would love to have my toes sucked, but NO WAY will i suck on someone else's toes...God knows where they've been
Would i still be allowed in your jungle?
;P
An orgasm from toe-sucking is beyond belief. Is she touching herself at the same time? How about posting a picture of your feet?
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